Friday, 29 November 2013

“Nothing would be the same if you did not exist”

The other week I was watching the latest series of The Big Bang Theory, the one where Amy made a declaration to Sheldon that in the film Raiders of the Lost Ark Indiana Jones was a superfluous character, without him the outcome would have been entirely the same.

Sheldon's jaw drops at Amy's suggestion
The Big Bang geeks all sat and deliberated this and I must confess as I sat watching with my teenage boys we tried to figure out how true this was.

How can you have a film where the main character doesn’t advance the plot? And if Indiana Jones is redundant in his own story where does that leave us lesser mortals who don’t have such grand adventures? Just how important are we in the grand scheme of things?

The next day I found this on Twitter

“Nothing would be the same if you did not exist”

Now that’s quite a mind blowing thought when you are feeling insignificant in the big wide world.

Far too often as a blogger I sit typing away wondering just who will read my words, is anyone actually interested in my thoughts?

Yet I have made connections with hundreds of people all over the world and I mostly have no idea if or how what I have written has affected them.

But turn that thought around and I do know for certain that I have discovered many blogs that have spoken to me, I’ve often found the perfect words that have resounded and touched my life where I am now. Some have made me laugh out loud and lots have made me cry but then I am emotional at the best of times!

I try to make a point of leaving a positive comment where I can and so the connection is strengthened and my existence has made a difference to someone else.

I enjoy reading even the most prosaic blogs and reaching out, being that voice that says – I’ve read what you have to say and in some small way I understand, you are not alone, thank you for sharing.

So back to the original statement by Amy that Indiana Jones doesn’t alter the outcome of the film.

Well I’ve given it much thought and come up with this…

In the Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indy is reunited with his old flame Marion, albeit for a brief spell in his life because she is long gone by the time he sets off to visit the Temple of Doom in film number two but their relationship is absolutely crucial to the plot of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, film number four!

So in the end it all comes back to relationships and connections…

“Nothing would be the same if you did not exist”

Thursday, 28 November 2013

Dear God, I’ve been expecting you…

Today I am linking up with Ruth and Sabrina and their "letters to..." prompt

There seems to have been "something" going around recently, a lot of my blogging friends have felt overwhelmed by life and lacking in words to write. So today's prompt is called...

"A letter to... fill you in..."

It's a chance to catch up with what's been going on.  I decided to write my letter specifically to GOD... because I probably need to catch up with him as well as my friends...

Dear God, I’ve been expecting you…

This verse turned up on my facebook newsfeed today…

I remember two and a half years ago using it to end a blog post, Andrew had only been dead six months but I was so certain YOU would turn my life around just as this verse promised. YOU are the most high, YOU can do anything. I’ve read that verse that YOU have plans for me a thousand times…

…but here I am still hanging on…impatiently waiting.

I wish I knew what was going to happen when YOU eventually turn up! All my dreams appear to be in tatters and nowhere near coming true. I chase after rainbow promises filled with a renewed sense of hope that fizzles out within days.

At least that’s how it feels on a bad day and November has had far too many tear filled days and nights.

I suppose that is to be expected too – we passed the three year anniversary of Andrew’s death on Wednesday 13th. So I am now in my fourth year of being a widow – I SHOULD be better at this by now, less NEEDY and EMOTIONAL. The world has moved on and I am stuck in a rut waiting for the good things I thought YOU promised.

Perhaps I’ve been reading YOUR words all wrong, interpreting them in accordance to my own agenda.

I guess the time has arrived to put the daydreams to one side, pull my socks up and get on with life as it is NOW. After all I am supposed to be a grown up, I need to start acting like one and stop the temper tantrums. 

As a “friend” reminded me on Facebook I have much to be thankful for, my health, my children the blue sky etc etc etc!

I deleted that comment, feeling guilty at my lack of joy and selfish for wanting so much more and so full of rage. Tears bubbled over and… well it’s just NOT FAIR!

And yet the Psalms are full of indignation and anger at a God who doesn’t deliver in the way we want him to. 

God your shoulders are so wide they can accommodate my tears, my punches.

YOU said you were coming to rescue me, YOU said be brave, be strong…

I’m neither but I’m hanging on, not quite giving up…

…and I'm still here EXPECTING YOU!

Monday, 25 November 2013

Race the Date #4 - archipelago

Today I am joining up with Cara Michaels' relatively new writing challenge called Race the Date

26 Hours | 300 Words | 1 Globetrotting Prompt

Today's prompt word is - archipelago

After so many days of blissfully floating in relative peace and quiet Daisy heard the familiar humming of an engine above her head. Lazily she lifted an arm to shield her slowly opening eyes from the glaring sun. They confirmed what she already knew – her idyllic honeymoon was coming to an end.

With a slight sadness in her heart she watched as the plane glided in an effortless trajectory on its way to the last island in the archipelago. By the time their yacht reached the shore the plane would be ready and waiting to trace the line of islands all the way back to the mainland.

Closing her eyes again she tuned back into the soothing sound of the ocean, once more mulling over how to begin this month’s article. This kind of once in a lifetime two week cruise along the islands on a private yacht would have ordinarily been well out of her budget. 

Writing a couple of thousand words for the privilege was a small price to pay for such luxury. 

Stretching her arms out wide, an imitation of the plane above, Daisy reached playfully for her faithful companion with a light touch. 

Her fingers slowly curled around the purple leather bound Kindle full of the complete works of Jane Austen. There was just time to lose herself at Pemberley before the magic had to end.

Next time, she vowed, she really must find her own Mr Darcy to share one of these experiences with!

Wednesday, 13 November 2013

Anniversary Poem

Would we still be holding hands
and looking out to sea?
Would we still be us,
forever you and me?

My life is now so different,
but some things remain the same.
I miss the way you held me
and the way you said my name.

But if that day had never happened,
would I just take you for granted?
The love we shared seems richer,
now you have departed.

Some days my tears flow freely
and I wonder if they’ll end…
My heart’s still crushed, quite fragile really,
can it ever mend?

You told me you’d be with me
and always hold my hand,
Then you were taken like a high tide
washes love hearts from the sand.

What’s left behind is memories,
precious days of joys.
And two replicas of both of us,
our most marvellous boys.

Each one of them a concrete link             
connecting back to you,
In the words they say to me,
and little things they do.

So would we still be holding hands,        
 looking out to sea?
I’d like to think forever
we’d still be you and me.