tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8175766962148214842.post6032759375692797969..comments2024-01-25T15:42:13.467+00:00Comments on re-ravelling: Five Sentence Fiction – FoggySarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07953334708365738152noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8175766962148214842.post-7687995068264039352012-05-27T03:19:17.298+01:002012-05-27T03:19:17.298+01:00I really like the mystery in your sentences! Well ...I really like the mystery in your sentences! Well done :)Lillie McFerrinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05367116687588265202noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8175766962148214842.post-37893245648290110002012-05-23T17:26:55.925+01:002012-05-23T17:26:55.925+01:00There is a hint of sadness... and a feeling that s...There is a hint of sadness... and a feeling that something ominous may be lurking... I hope I'm wrong and that it ends well for him.michellehttp://writer-in-transit.co.za/f-s-f-foggy/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8175766962148214842.post-40491195656288855642012-05-23T14:41:13.473+01:002012-05-23T14:41:13.473+01:00It's just an everyday scene but somehow it'...It's just an everyday scene but somehow it's loaded with impending drama. Nice one.Sandra Crookhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00534491053812317718noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8175766962148214842.post-5551246693920192882012-05-22T16:34:03.320+01:002012-05-22T16:34:03.320+01:00Late to the party, but just wanted to say: *heart*...Late to the party, but just wanted to say: *heart* this. fin.Angela Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08405824955821316661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8175766962148214842.post-29183414466871054462012-05-22T12:51:09.643+01:002012-05-22T12:51:09.643+01:00Love, hope, desire and uncertainty. All in five s...Love, hope, desire and uncertainty. All in five sweet sentences. Nice job.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8175766962148214842.post-4357379732024416862012-05-21T14:24:24.456+01:002012-05-21T14:24:24.456+01:00Loved the fog's 'smothering embrace'.....Loved the fog's 'smothering embrace'...and the fact that he's jittery, just not sure where she is...Lisa Shambrookhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12767127776898278402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8175766962148214842.post-25689254224897414812012-05-20T22:02:58.494+01:002012-05-20T22:02:58.494+01:00In these few short sentences, you drew me in and ...In these few short sentences, you drew me in and made me care about these characters. I ended the piece hoping he finds her just down the road running late, but okay.injaynesworldhttp://injaynesworld.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8175766962148214842.post-85263825333565634662012-05-20T21:10:40.512+01:002012-05-20T21:10:40.512+01:00Ah Sarah, difficult to tell if it will be a happy ...Ah Sarah, difficult to tell if it will be a happy or sad ending...and that's a good thing in writing! Also, really liked the pacing and how the story develops from thought to action.<br /><br />I'm glad you are joining in the 5sentencefiction challenges :)) They are creative challenges and I think they really help all of us to improve our writing by tightening up sentences. <br /><br />There is one suggestion I will make to you (hope that's okay) and that is to look at a couple of your sentences and see if perhaps one of them would be stronger if you set up in the opposite way. This would put the most powerful image at the end rather than the beginning. Just a thought.<br /><br />So glad to be connected on twitter and through our blogs! Well done!Jo-Anne Teal (jtvancouver)https://www.blogger.com/profile/10560042112608893203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8175766962148214842.post-81305513265780933402012-05-20T20:51:44.020+01:002012-05-20T20:51:44.020+01:00Was going to add "...like droplets of blood.&...Was going to add "...like droplets of blood." to the final sentence to imply all might not be well, but I deleted it, maybe she has stood him up instead?<br />I like to think he found her and they laughed as they cooked more pasta together!Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07953334708365738152noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8175766962148214842.post-48347955223750110322012-05-20T20:18:35.848+01:002012-05-20T20:18:35.848+01:00I like this ... I hope she's OK and is just ru...I like this ... I hope she's OK and is just running late ...Roberthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00366331580936893098noreply@blogger.com