Pollyanna and The Glad Game

Last weekend we visited my parents and after my long drive Saturday morning we decided to put our feet up and watch a film.  As mum scrolled through the films she had recorded from the TV searching for something good to watch we found “Pollyanna”.

“I haven’t watched that for years!” I cried.

“Shall we watch it then? Your dad likes that one too, he’ll probably sit and watch it with us.”

I settled back on the sofa and sure enough my dad came and sat down beside me too, even if he did complain, “we’ve seen this before!”

Youngest son wandered in and out, shaking his head at us watching such a silly old movie.

“Will she fall out of the tree and die?” He said with a grin.

“Just watch.” Said his Grandad, but he never did sit down with us. Neither did Pollyanna die, but I don’t want to add too many spoilers just in case you haven’t seen this classic piece of cinema!

Pollyanna making rainbows from glass prisms

I remember watching the film when I was small and wanting to be Pollyanna, well except the falling out of the tree part. I wanted to be just like the smiling, happy little girl who always saw the best in people and in every situation. The little girl who despite every adversity taught a whole town to be GLAD.

You may remember somewhere near the start of the summer holidays I went to New Wine and made a decision to CHOOSE to be joyful? Kind of like playing an updated version of Pollyanna's Glad Game.

Why is it as soon as we make these kinds of momentous decisions real life seems to get tough? 

Nothing really BAD has come my way but I get the feeling “something” is trying to pull me in the opposite direction making me unduly grumpy and despondent, magnifying life’s little hiccups out of all proportion.

Watching Pollyanna reminded me to play the Glad Game or to count my blessings or to choose joy, it doesn’t really matter what you call it, just do what works best for you. 

You can only be the miserable maid or the awkward aunt for so long; eventually Pollyanna’s game becomes infectious.

So with that in mind I have started writing down the good things that have happened that day in my diary, especially when I don’t feel like it. I have found once I write one thing, even something small and seemingly insignificant, I tend to remember another and then a third and fourth…

As we’ve nearly reached the end of the summer holidays I decided to write a list of this year’s holiday highlights… to remind me that Summer 2013 was really good and not just because of the sunshine!

Obviously there was New Wine, it’s always great to be away with my friends and this year someone organised a Camp Olympics competition for our group, lots of silly games that involved throwing ping pong balls at a target, scrambling under guy ropes and spinning round a broom handle before walking in a straight line – or should that be falling over – OUCH! Haven’t laughed so much for ages – lots of family fun with my lovely extended church family!

Taking both boys to the cinema to see Wolverine. There are so few films we all want to see and this was one of the few things we all did together, so that makes it extra special. 

Having my bridesmaid and her family come to stay for a few days. A day out to a theme park in the sunshine, getting spectacularly wet on the water rides and no arguments from any of the six children or us 3 adults! Having a Scalextric tournament one evening and a musical evening the next, my friend’s husband and eldest son can both play the piano beautifully. Since my youngest son gave up lessons no one plays ours anymore – oh I really need to find a man who is musical! Hehehe

The drainpipe leaking – ok so that doesn’t sound like a blessing especially as there was no one around at the time to call on to fix it but when a section of pipe completely fell off something HAD to be done and oldest son and I got out the ladder and mended it together. All this time I’ve been wondering where I would find a man to fix things for me and there he was all the time, growing up before my eyes, tall and strong and capable!

And then he got his GCSE results. He worked so hard and achieved 2 As, 5 Bs and 4 Cs. Funnily enough for my O levels I got 1 A, 6 Bs and 4 Cs – I guess that makes him just a little bit brighter than his mother then!

There were a few days spent at my parents where I got spoiled with tea and toast in bed every morning – BLISS. I finally got to relax and actually finished reading a book!

A ventriloquism lesson for youngest son.

And I can’t forget to mention Edinburgh, just arriving there without a SatNav, the zoo (the monkeys were our favourite), the fringe, watching Simon Mayo Drivetime live in the Radio 2 tent and I have to mention the God Particle, please go and see it if you have a chance, such a funny and clever play – I wish I could write like that.

But my most favourite Edinburgh highlight… well that deserves a special post all of its own...just click the link below!

***** THE DAY WE MET TIME VINE*****

Meanwhile I’m glad that outside the sun is still shining and there are still 4 days left of the summer holidays to fill – I wonder just how many blessing I can squeeze in?

being thankful

I am in a great mood at the moment and I'm sure the sunshine has a lot to do with it. I just need to look out of the open window to see beautiful blue sky and I can feel a gentle breeze blowing across my skin.

My facebook page is full of happy updates and pictures, my new kitchen, fantastic tennis on TV (I even went to Wimbledon with oldest son in the first week), I've eaten strawberries picked from my garden and the kids had fun splashing about on the beach on Saturday evening.  

However first thing this morning things didn't look so bright in this part of the world. The North East coast was covered by a light sea mist and the temperature had dramatically dropped.

"Oh bother!" 

I go walking with friends on a Monday morning and we had been looking forward to a walk in the sunshine. Today low tide fell at exactly the right time for us to walk around the cliffs on the beach and rocks without getting cut off or swept away. Last week we'd walked along the top and we were keen to see a very different view out to sea.

With the change in weather should we change our plans? There was very little debate - we decided we should go for it anyway - there are too few weeks left before the kids break up for the school holidays.

Instead we changed our clothes to whatever we each felt appropriate for a cooler walk and we set off.

Once we'd started walking we all agreed perhaps this was better weather for walking in, no risk of getting sunburnt or just being TOO HOT.

We laughed and chatted as usual not bothered that we couldn't see much of a view. Besides we had to watch our feet, the seaweed was very slippery and we squealed when the rocks beneath our feet wobbled!

But looking down meant we spotted a few fossils along the way.

We avoided stepping in rock pools and clambered over rocks...

...and spotted these two that looked like they were kissing!

There are things I would like to change in my life but what's the point of listing them here when there is so much good stuff going on at the moment.

I really do have lots to be thankful for!

No Rainbows Today!

Over the last few days I have been full of cold and feeling rather sorry for myself. When I got back from church oldest son was quietly revising for his last exam tomorrow, I’d managed to get a friend to look after youngest son for a couple of hours so I was all set to curl up on the sofa under a blanket with a lemsip and a movie.

“Notting Hill” – I decided as I drove home, a bit of romance and Hugh Grant – perfect. Only when I checked I realised I don’t have it on DVD, I had a video copy but I got rid of all my videos a while ago, with a view to downsizing and moving to a smaller house.

I choose "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel" instead – no Hugh Grant but I reasoned it would remind me that I wasn’t too old for romance and adventure, even if I do still have to wait until the boys have left home I’ve hopefully got plenty of years ahead of me!

So I was merrily planning a blog post with this theme while enjoying the film when the phone rang. I paused the DVD.

Youngest son wanted to come home, he’d been fed but wanted his own space. In return he promised to leave me alone in peace.

I snuggled back under the blanket and pressed play, I watched another half an hour or so with maybe one or two minor interruptions. 

There was an almighty thunderstorm, which I stopped the film to watch. The drive had turned into a river. Still pondering today's blog I thought maybe I could write about thunder and lightning and the first time I wasn’t scared of a storm – I’ve filed that away for another day now – it would make a good post.

The storm passed and I continued the film.

Suddenly there was a heated argument in the hall between the boys ending with the ominous sound of breaking glass, a lot of crying and a shout of “mum!”

Thankfully it wasn’t quite as dramatic as the noise suggested, a football had been kicked in the porch and a window was smashed. No injuries, no blood and that particular pane of glass had been cracked for years.

More shouting followed, this time from me as I sent both boys upstairs and set about clearing the debris.

I’m fortunate really, I have two boys and we’ve never had many serious incidents like this.

However glass had shattered EVERYWHERE, mostly on the gravel in front of the porch but some shards had reached and scratched the car, bits were under the car and when I investigated further I found fragments on the roof too!

Carefully I collected every piece as the rain started to fall again. It was a sunshine and showers sort of a day. I looked up half hoping a see a rainbow, a promise from God that this too would pass and everything would be alright.

But there were no rainbows for me today and actually for once I didn’t mind. I didn’t need a new promise, I’m holding on to all the old ones and today they are enough to keep me going.

At church this morning we had a chance to share something we are thankful for and I shared twice! Firstly for the kitchen floor and hot and cold running water. Secondly this week a little girl said hello to me in the supermarket followed by telling her mum, “she comes into to school to tell us bible stories.” It’s lovely to get this reaction to our Open the Book team assemblies.

Once I started counting my blessings I remembered more. 

A walk with friends, my growing veg patch, a compliment and an insurance cheque in the post.

Despite feeling rotten, having a half-finished kitchen and having a funeral song in the service for the second week running which has made me cry, I know God is holding me tightly and won’t let go. Rainbow or no rainbow.

Another blessing today was that my friend’s husband came round to board up the window, it meant another interruption to my afternoon but eventually I watched the Marigold Hotel to the end in peace.

Here’s one of the great quotes from the film…

“Everything will be all right in the end... if it's not all right then it's not yet the end.”

Sounds good to me!

A sign of getting older

I have come to the conclusion I am getting older because the funerals I attend are beginning to outnumber the weddings I am invited too. Today I was at the thanksgiving service of a lovely lady called Lena.

(Yes I know I normally don’t name people but I’ve set the precedent before of naming the departed and somehow it seems fitting. Read Hanging by a Thread)

Lena was 93 and would have been 94 next week.  We were born 50 years apart (minus 2 days).  I always joked with her that we could share our 50th and 100th birthday parties.

Alas that is never to be, but I shall remember to toast her when I reach that milestone.

It’s amazing to think that if I live to the same ripe old age I am not yet half way through my life. I would love to think I will get to that age with all my faculties intact but more than that I hope I reach out to people in the same way Lena did.

She loved a good story, her tales were an inspiration.

I remember one day not long after Andrew had died we had a meeting at my house. We sat round the kitchen table and she started on a story…

She had been a teacher and for some of her career had worked in a rough neighbourhood where the girls she taught needed as much love and attention as they did schooling in reading and writing. She often enthralled us with stories from these hard times. But on this particular occasion her tale was about one of the teachers.

This teacher was a young woman with a child and one day her husband died unexpectedly. Lena had taken the girl under her wing in much the same way she did with her students. I can’t recall all of the story but eventually she had remarried, rebuilt her life and she still saw Lena weekly to take her shopping.

I was filling up at this and reached for the box of tissues.

Lena looked me in the eye and said, “I’m telling this story for you my dear.” I suppose it was her way of saying my life wasn’t over, that other people had shared my pain and that she knew what I was going through.

I’m starting to cry as I type. I wish I’d had more time to get to know her, to hear more of her stories and to drink in her wealth of knowledge.

At least I had the privilege to know this remarkable woman of God, even for a short time and for that I am forever thankful!

Squished

Another episode in the medical drama that seems to be my life at present. Thankfully it’s all very tame and not at all gory today.

I had an appointment this morning for my first ever mammogram. I anticipated a bit of necessary discomfort but it’s always wise to get checked out. My Mum’s breast cancer was only discovered by a routine mammogram and I’m taking no chances with my own health.

Yes there was the inevitable squishing of my boobs as they were manipulated between the plates of the x-ray machine but it wasn’t long before I was back in the small waiting area, top half covered by a gown, shopping basket at my feet with all my clothes in.

I was made a cup of tea and settled down for a few minutes to read some more of my book (Finger Lickin’ Fifteen by Janet Evanovich) while I waited for the verdict.

It wasn’t long before I was given the all clear and told I could go. Relieved I got dressed and stayed sitting for a bit savouring my cup of tea. I was never unduly worried – at least that’s my side of the story.

It’s another big tick off the “to do” list. Another hurdle that has diminished before my eyes, I can safely and very easily step over leaving it behind me for another year.

I wondered how different things would have been if Andrew had still been around.  Would he have come along to the appointment with me? Depends on his work shifts I suppose.

Would I have let my worry show knowing I had someone to turn to, to hold my hand and give me support? I was great at playing “what if..?” when Andrew was alive. He sometimes got annoyed at my imagination. I guess we brought out the worst in each other as well as the best on occasions.

Without him I am strangely stronger and more capable. 

Today I didn’t wear his ring as I did for my last appointment. To be honest it never occurred to me until I was getting undressed.

However I did have to smile at a song Chris Evan’s played on the radio this morning, “Cruel to be Kind” by Nick Lowe.

Despite Andrew’s vast record collection this was one single he didn’t have that he always wanted. I wish I’d tried harder to find him a copy. It was the first song he ever downloaded, long before we had iPods to play it on.

Perhaps a mammogram isn’t “cruel” as such but it is “kind” to get one done. Like Mary Poppins and her spoonful of sugar or the old adage “prevention is better than cure”.

“Cruel to be kind means that I love you”

Andrew, ever close, proud of his confident wife, telling me yet again, “I told you there was nothing to worry about!”

Choose Thanks!

Can’t think of much to write today.  There are no funny anecdotes as I have been home all day feeling a bit sorry for myself as I have a cold and can’t stray far from a box of tissues.

I was supposed to be going out with friends to the Knit and Stitch Show but as I had loads to do, as I was feeling off colour and didn’t want to share my germs I decided to give it a miss.  Also I reasoned I would only buy more craft paraphernalia that I haven’t got time to use.   There are too many half-finished knitting and sewing projects in the house already.  There is a cupboard I daren’t open for fear of the avalanche of wool that will topple out.  I have an abundance of card, beads, sequins, buttons and fabric too yet still I crave more.

Why do we complain when we have so much?  We have too much really and it’s easy to take things for granted. 

 

Today is Thanksgiving in the U.S.A. so maybe I should just write a list of all there is to be thankful for today, my unplanned and unspectacular day at home

• Driving back from dropping the boys off at school there was a fantastic silver lining edging the cloud straight ahead of me

• The decorator came round and finished painting the last doorstep

• Then builder turned up and re-pointed the crack in the back wall

• Got the lawnmower/tractor started and together with older son we swept the leaves – YET AGAIN

• I had a sneaky hour off from doing nothing much in particular and managed to catch up watching the Military Wives Choir – superb

• I got to the bottom of the ironing pile before breakfast – trying to put waking up early to good use

• Had an email reminding me about the “getting your work published day”  I am attending on Saturday, networking lunch provided - can’t wait to get out there and mingle

• Printed slips with blog and contact details to hand out to important people on Saturday

• Literally just put the phone down after a fabulously giggly phone conversation with my best friend

• A friend of my mother-in-law’s in his eighties died in the early hours of this morning, he’d been ill for some time and now I am thankful he doesn’t have to suffer

Being thankful isn’t always simple.  It’s a choice we have to make.  There is a negative side to most things on the list above and I have plenty to be sad about.  I am wrapped in Andrew’s jumper today and I had a little weep today because he is no longer by my side.

Some days are very tough but choosing to count your blessings can help make some steps just that bit easier.