Where would I send it to? My letter to home?
An odd question perhaps when I sit here in my house,
surrounded by my possessions, so much stuff accumulated through the years
making my house a family home.
… and yet …
We’ve not long returned from my parents where we celebrated
Christmas with four generations of family under one roof. Anywhere your heart
feels snug and wanted – that’s got to be more homely than a pile of bricks and
a mountain of objects.
Every time we visit my parents there’s a point as we cross
the invisible line between one county and another when my heart soars as I feel
once more drawn into a homely embrace. This is where I grew up, even Andrew
would remark that I changed when we got there, getting louder and more
excitable.
But then as we leave and after a long drive northwards
there’s a similar spot where I knew without a doubt that I have returned to
another home. These familiar twists and turns of the road are the ones I drive
almost daily and I smile thankful for a safe trip back to my own front door.
I know I am blessed to have two places in the world where I
feel so loved and secure.
However I have reached a curious moment in time where I have
lived half my life in the south east of England and half in the north east.
Pinpointing exactly where I feel I most belong is hard.
What exacerbates the confusion in my mind is that the house
where I live feels less and less like a home. It has become a big burden, a
place of memories with too many overwhelming responsibilities. A house too big
for only three of us, not quite as cosy and warm as I want my home to be.
Oh it’s welcoming, accommodating, you’ll always get a cup of
tea when you visit but that is down to the family that lives here who throw
open the door.
This is still our home because this is where we live, it is
a part of us.
I remember the day we moved in, the plans we had, the work
we’ve had done, the laughter, the hassles, the plaster that fell down with a
loud thud, stripping woodchip from ceilings and painting every spindle.
But I am ready to move on, I need to move and establish
something new.
We won’t be far away, we are tied to school and college and
friends and church…
… and so I wonder, if I were to write another letter home in
a couple of years’ time, just where I would send that letter to?
And this is why selling my house is my number one priority for 2014, if you like it is my New Year's Resolution. Of course there is much more to it that I have written here and moving is a daunting prospect.
Please pray for a buyer, pray that I can find somewhere new for us to live and that I have the strength to sort out all the "stuff", much of it Andrew's, and the wisdom to know what to do with it! Thanks x
You have my prayers...that a buyer will emerge and this will be your year!
ReplyDeleteI too have different places I call home. I come from East Sussex, and lived there for twenty one years, now I've lived in West Wales for twenty one years too...I feel that both are home!