Pollyanna and The Glad Game

Last weekend we visited my parents and after my long drive Saturday morning we decided to put our feet up and watch a film.  As mum scrolled through the films she had recorded from the TV searching for something good to watch we found “Pollyanna”.

“I haven’t watched that for years!” I cried.

“Shall we watch it then? Your dad likes that one too, he’ll probably sit and watch it with us.”

I settled back on the sofa and sure enough my dad came and sat down beside me too, even if he did complain, “we’ve seen this before!”

Youngest son wandered in and out, shaking his head at us watching such a silly old movie.

“Will she fall out of the tree and die?” He said with a grin.

“Just watch.” Said his Grandad, but he never did sit down with us. Neither did Pollyanna die, but I don’t want to add too many spoilers just in case you haven’t seen this classic piece of cinema!

Pollyanna making rainbows from glass prisms

I remember watching the film when I was small and wanting to be Pollyanna, well except the falling out of the tree part. I wanted to be just like the smiling, happy little girl who always saw the best in people and in every situation. The little girl who despite every adversity taught a whole town to be GLAD.

You may remember somewhere near the start of the summer holidays I went to New Wine and made a decision to CHOOSE to be joyful? Kind of like playing an updated version of Pollyanna's Glad Game.

Why is it as soon as we make these kinds of momentous decisions real life seems to get tough? 

Nothing really BAD has come my way but I get the feeling “something” is trying to pull me in the opposite direction making me unduly grumpy and despondent, magnifying life’s little hiccups out of all proportion.

Watching Pollyanna reminded me to play the Glad Game or to count my blessings or to choose joy, it doesn’t really matter what you call it, just do what works best for you. 

You can only be the miserable maid or the awkward aunt for so long; eventually Pollyanna’s game becomes infectious.

So with that in mind I have started writing down the good things that have happened that day in my diary, especially when I don’t feel like it. I have found once I write one thing, even something small and seemingly insignificant, I tend to remember another and then a third and fourth…

As we’ve nearly reached the end of the summer holidays I decided to write a list of this year’s holiday highlights… to remind me that Summer 2013 was really good and not just because of the sunshine!

Obviously there was New Wine, it’s always great to be away with my friends and this year someone organised a Camp Olympics competition for our group, lots of silly games that involved throwing ping pong balls at a target, scrambling under guy ropes and spinning round a broom handle before walking in a straight line – or should that be falling over – OUCH! Haven’t laughed so much for ages – lots of family fun with my lovely extended church family!

Taking both boys to the cinema to see Wolverine. There are so few films we all want to see and this was one of the few things we all did together, so that makes it extra special. 

Having my bridesmaid and her family come to stay for a few days. A day out to a theme park in the sunshine, getting spectacularly wet on the water rides and no arguments from any of the six children or us 3 adults! Having a Scalextric tournament one evening and a musical evening the next, my friend’s husband and eldest son can both play the piano beautifully. Since my youngest son gave up lessons no one plays ours anymore – oh I really need to find a man who is musical! Hehehe

The drainpipe leaking – ok so that doesn’t sound like a blessing especially as there was no one around at the time to call on to fix it but when a section of pipe completely fell off something HAD to be done and oldest son and I got out the ladder and mended it together. All this time I’ve been wondering where I would find a man to fix things for me and there he was all the time, growing up before my eyes, tall and strong and capable!

And then he got his GCSE results. He worked so hard and achieved 2 As, 5 Bs and 4 Cs. Funnily enough for my O levels I got 1 A, 6 Bs and 4 Cs – I guess that makes him just a little bit brighter than his mother then!

There were a few days spent at my parents where I got spoiled with tea and toast in bed every morning – BLISS. I finally got to relax and actually finished reading a book!

A ventriloquism lesson for youngest son.

And I can’t forget to mention Edinburgh, just arriving there without a SatNav, the zoo (the monkeys were our favourite), the fringe, watching Simon Mayo Drivetime live in the Radio 2 tent and I have to mention the God Particle, please go and see it if you have a chance, such a funny and clever play – I wish I could write like that.

But my most favourite Edinburgh highlight… well that deserves a special post all of its own...just click the link below!

***** THE DAY WE MET TIME VINE*****

Meanwhile I’m glad that outside the sun is still shining and there are still 4 days left of the summer holidays to fill – I wonder just how many blessing I can squeeze in?

Simply an Adventure - no SatNav required!

We’ve just been away for a few days, we being me and youngest son. We’ve been to Edinburgh, seen a few shows on the fringe and been to the zoo.

When I first booked the tickets I thought this would be a great big adventure, not just going to Edinburgh Fringe for the first time but actually driving there, driving north of the border into another country.

OK so it’s not a huge thing but Andrew rarely let me do the driving and I’ve not even been to Scotland since he died. It’s significant because he used to work off Aberdeen on a gas platform; driving up and down the A1 was second nature to him and he complained just how monotonous it was. 

There were occasions when we had gone with him. Four years ago he was working in the office because of a medical condition keeping him on-shore and we spent some days in Aberdeen with him. He rented an apartment for the week and the boys and I would meet him from work after our days filled with sightseeing.

We’ve always had these strange little holidays, a few days here and there; to be honest as Andrew worked away he was never happy to be away from home for too long.

Our holiday patterns now he is gone have stayed much the same. Short excursions are both manageable and familiar.

So I planned this trip with some trepidation. As I said it is the first time we’d ever been to the Fringe and the first time youngest son and I had been away together without staying with friends who have other children to keep him amused.

We set off from home, calling en route at WHSmiths to pick up a copy of the Daily Mail who this week are giving away free Lego. Only a small model but enough to keep youngest quiet for all of 2 minutes on the long journey and add to his already vast collection. 

Then I decided I should program the SatNav.

It was dead. It wouldn’t work at all. Turning on the ignition didn’t spark it into life. I pressed the only button on it and took the lead out and plugged it back in again.

A working SatNav!

Finally I resorted to the reset button underneath. This can only be pressed by use of a pin but in dire needs such as this when you have no pin to hand I have employed an earring and it has done the trick – oh how amazed was Andrew with me the day I did that – well actually not very much but I was impressed by my ingenuity!

On Monday however this didn’t work. With some misguided determination I fiddled about a bit more, whilst driving, not a great plan, I do remember swerving ever so slightly to avoid a parked car – then I decided I really should focus on the matter at hand so I discarded the Sat Nav completely saying “God, it’s up to you and whatever I can remember of the route.” After all this was supposed to be an adventure!

Of course getting to Edinburgh itself is reasonably straight forward – get to the A1 and keep driving north.

The problem I knew would be once we hit the outskirts of the city but fortunately I had looked at Google maps enough times in my preparation to have some idea of where I was headed and our accommodation was along the same road as the zoo, so I knew if I followed signs in that direction I should make it. Once in the area I could always ask if absolutely necessary, I am a girl, it’s not beyond me!

There was one little wobble where I decided to change lanes last minute at a set of traffic lights at a junction, which I hasten to add I did entirely safely although technically maybe not totally legally, but dotted lines mean you can cross them right? I’m sure they weren’t solid! Thank goodness I didn’t have my almost 17 year old, soon to be learner driver with me!

Anyway a little bit further along the road I spotted the place just like the picture I’d seen on the internet. Our home from home for the next three nights. We had reached out destination with very little hassle and certainly no drama, tears or tantrums.

Now I am pleased with myself, our few days away all went to plan – well OK maybe not all to plan, some bits weren’t so successful, like the show we walked out of it was so rude. But other things happened that were way above my expectations – I might just write about those another day!

But the truth is I’m not sure if the trip really stretched me. I have more belief in myself than I have ever had before and I want to try something more adventurous next time. Even driving back home through the Tyne Tunnel, another first for me, didn’t make me think “WOW I am so clever!”

Sometimes I wonder just how far I have travelled down this road called grief, there are bits of me that will never be the same but I have never wanted my bereavement to debilitate me. It is like travelling without a SatNav, a little bit scary as you have no idea what’s just up ahead.

However these few days away have shown me that I am stronger than I think, smarter that I often give myself credit for and even when things don’t go completely to plan I am capable of calmly working out a solution – who knew?

Loose ends and neat edges...

I now find myself rounding up the months and saying it's almost 3 years since Andrew died. Although actually it's more like 2 years, eight months and a few days since I started blogging my story for all the world to read. 

It would be foolish to say I don’t unravel anymore, I can still get caught out unawares...

But some loose ends do get tidied up. The kitchen was finally, finally finished yesterday with the last piece of flooring laid. We had to wait for the window seat to be completed to make the edges perfect.

The kitchen saga has been a long running one and it is strange to look at it now all pristine and complete. Although actually there’s already a little chip in the granite – I think I caught the edge of the draining board with my heavy le creuset casserole dish – oops! Nothing stays perfect for long!

This morning I’ve just taken my car to the garage for its second full service. I’ve driven over 20,000 miles and had the car for almost 2 years now. Was it that long ago I wrote about the trepidation when I first got it? It’s the first car I’ve ever bought by myself there was a lot of agonising beforehand that I was making the right decision. 

However it’s no longer my shiny new car just the car that gets us from A to B every day. There’s even an odd scratch here and there.

Time inevitably rolls on and once again we find ourselves in the summer holidays, which for once are strangely warm and sunny. It’s that time of year when I’m flitting about and my writing becomes haphazard. 

I predict a few odd posts in the next month and a flurry of writing at the end of the summer when I try to settle back into a routine – hahaha!

In September all will change again as oldest son starts college and A levels. He’s having two weeks away without us this summer, things are moving on and I’m trying to find things we can all do as a family as often as I can – it’s not easy when we are all so different.

Just a week ago I was stressing about my house viewing and here I sit today staring at a pile of packing - have we got everything we need to go away on our various adventures? 

Well the garage has just rung, the car's all ready to go, I've written a shopping list and can't sit here all day!

Ending, beginnings and everything in between.

Loose ends and neat edges – life is always made up of both!

Five Sentence Fiction - Paradise

The word this week is Paradise 

What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week I will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction.

Who Reads the Small Print Anyway?

Clara dreamily watched the raindrops running down the windowpane, tracing their magical journey with a manicured fingertip.

The candle beside her flickered in the draft causing the diamonds in her ring to sparkle, throwing glittering confetti all around them.

This wasn’t quite how she imagined it would be but neither of them had taken the time to read the small print when they booked.

May was the rainy season and power-cuts on this part of the island were relatively common.

No wonder their dream honeymoon had come in well under budget.

Go to Lillie's blog to read the other stories of paradise -  lost, found, regained and imagined...

All Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey

If you understand the title of today’s post you are probably a Dr Who fan!

I don’t intend to get into a huge debate about which long running SciFi saga is the best but Dr Who is my personal favourite, always reinventing itself with new incarnations and regenerations of the Time Lord reaching out through time and space to a new generation.

I vividly remember hiding behind a cushion as a child while watching the Doctor on his adventures in the seventies and eighties. Tom Baker regenerating into Peter Davidson was my classic era. And when Christopher Ecclestone appeared on our screens as Doctor Who for the new millennium I was so excited to be able to share the Dr Who experience with my own children.

At half term  I took youngest son on a week away to Scargill House, where I had been on my own earlier in the year. Read about it here and here.

Scargill House is a Christian community and this particular week away was entitled Travels in the Tardis, we explored what it would be like to travel with the Lord of Time and what it is really like to follow the Lord of all.

So what does Jesus have in common with the Doctor?

Well here are a few thoughts on the subject that emerged last week, comparisons, questions and quotes…  

1. The Doctor hates to travel alone. He is so much better when in community with others and he picks his companions well.

God is three in one, the trinity, never alone and yet He too holds out his hand to us and invites us on an adventure that He longs to share with us.

2. “I've seen fake gods and bad gods and demigods and would-be gods; out of all that, out of that whole pantheon, if I believe in one thing... just one thing... I believe in her.” This is what The Doctor says of Rose in The Satan Pit.

Do we dare to think the God believes in us? He’s there always cheering us on, fully knowing what we are capable of.  Sometimes we wonder if we are fit for the tasks before us but God is there whispering, like most of us parents do – I know you can do this – I believe in YOU!

3. “I have a thing. It's like a plan, but with more greatness.” The Doctor tells Vincent Van Gogh.

God has a thing or a plan, it says so in the often quoted Jeremiah 29 “For I know the plans I have for you.” 

The Doctor makes up the plan as he goes along, certain points in time are fixed and others moveable.

The book of Revelation at the end of the Bible tells us how the Bible story ultimately ends – God wins! We know the Doctor will save the world by the end of each episode or at the very least the series. What happens in the middle is always a bit of a “thing” that develops through the actions of the characters!

4. Another great quote from Vincent and the Doctor “The way I see it, life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don’t always spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”

God never tells us things will be easy just that He will always be with us.

“Don’t wander off” is the Doctor’s rule number 1. Do his companions ever listen? Do we always listen and follow God? 

Yet God and the Doctor are always around when we do get lost, already ready to answer our distress call, our phone call, our prayers in unexpected and marvellous ways.

5. Martha says of the Doctor “He has saved your lives so many times and you never even knew he was there. He never stops. He never stays. He never asks to be thanked. But I've seen him, I know him... I love him... And I know what he can do.”

Thinking about how the doctor saves us more often than we imagine remained me so much of one of my favourite Bible quotes from Ephesians.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

That verse also hints at the fact we have a part to play in this adventure. His power at work in us. Just at the Doctor’s companions realise their worth and abilities while travelling with the Doctor as we draw closer to God our stories become more entwined and our eyes are opened to the workings of an all-powerful God behind the scenes.

There are more things happening in heaven and earth than we can think of or imagine and yet God’s imagination is limitless, he saves us and NEVER stops.

6. But the Doctor isn’t an infallible and perfect God figure.

He promises in Voyage of the Damned, the Christmas special starring Kylie, that he was going to save everyone. Like all the old disaster movies popular in the seventies, all the good people died saving others while the seemingly undeserving survived. Despite his best efforts the Doctor can’t save Astrid and that tears him apart, it is the beginning of the end of David Tennant’s reign as The Doctor. 

God never makes such rash promises but he says “I will be with you until the very end of the age.”  At the end of Matthew’s gospel, another of my favourite passages.

7. “I’ve lived too long.” The Doctor woefully tells Wilf as he eventually gives his life for his friend when he knocks four times.

Jesus gives his life for us, just for us, each and every ordinary one of us. Yet he believes we are worth dying for to set creation right.

Our week away was great; we had fun, laughed, watched lots of Doctor Who, wrote a radio play, did some screen printing, visited a cave and ate lots of cake, including fishfinger cake and custard, remembering to sing the Doctor Who grace before eating!

Best of all I have made even more friends, who love life, Dr Who and Jesus – sounds like a fantastic combination to me. (The perfect centre to my Venn Diagram - if you follow the blog you will know what that means! Or check out my post here.)

Here’s a video that featured a lot during our week too… 

Please feel free to add your own comments and thoughts on the area of Dr Who, Science fiction and faith, I’m genuinely interested.