A Christmas Story in October!

Yes it might seem a little early to be thinking about Christmas but I am joining with my online writing group otherwise known as the Dark Fairy Queen and her Brilliant Minions to produce a collection of Christmas stories.

We have collaborated on an anthology before and hopefully this time we will have enough stories to print a proper book not just an e type one - just in time to wrap up for the perfect Christmas present. The deadline is the end of the month!

I really must mention Laura, Ruth, Nick and Missy who are doing all the really hard work of pulling this together - hands out cookies and chocolate to you all - you need to keep your strength up!

As per rules and guidelines:

my story is: "The Angel who didn't like Christmas" by Sarah Nicholson

eBook: definitely YES!

genre: angel fairytale (is that a genre? kind of just made it up!)

word total: 986

Dedication: A story for the Dark Fairy Queen and all my fellow Minions, with love and thanks for the support and laughter received in equal measure over the past year - Merry Christmas xx

OK I think that is all the official boxes ticked - now sit back and enjoy the story!



The Angel who didn't like Christmas

“Tinselitis?” Angel Anna raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

“I’ve got a sick note, signed by Dr Laura. Had all the tests confirmed.” His nose was already starting to twitch, must be that fake twinkling Christmas tree strategically placed to make Anna’s desk look festive.

She tapped efficiently on her laptop. “’Tin-sel-i-tis – an allergy to tinsel, glitter and sparkle.’ Such a shame this time of year.” She said without a flicker of sympathy.

“So if you’ll just stamp this letter, verify that I’m too sick for duty I can be getting off home to recover.” Jeff had it all planned out, a quiet Christmas in front of the TV for a change. He hated being an angel this time of year.

The telephone rang just as he sneezed.

Anna listened intently to the voice at the other end, nodding her head. Jeff found a handkerchief in his pocket and blew his nose with more force than was necessary to make the point that he was still here and he was sick.

“It seems the Big Man upstairs has a mission for you.” Anna put down the phone while flashing Jeff her sunniest smile.

“I can’t go down there at Christmas; you know how crazy those humans get.”

“Special orders.” She hit the send button on her laptop and he was on his way.

It was angel rush-hour, thousands of them were gliding up and down the heavenly staircases off to work, each one chattering loudly, all decked out in their shiny best. Sequins twinkled in every direction like millions of eyes conspiratorially winking at him. 

He shuddered, feeling hot and cold all at once. He should be in bed sleeping off this fever but it was impossible to escape. Pushed along in the melee he was trapped and descending earthwards.

He sneezed some more which at least kept his fellow angels at a distance giving him some much needed space to breathe.

“Special orders”,  well that was an honour he supposed, he couldn’t remember the last time he was singled out for an important mission, but before he had chance to ponder what it might be he felt the ground give way beneath him.

“You have reached your destination.” The voice was cheery yet mechanical as he gracefully floated to the ground.

He stood outside an inauspicious looking house, number 67 with a green door.

Most houses in the street were festooned in bright lights. There was a lopsided plastic reindeer opposite with a red nose that flashed rather alarmingly. 

Jeff was glad this house was plain and ordinary looking. He shivered feeling chilly, not feverish this time, just cold, there was snow on the ground and he had no coat.

Unsure what else to do he rang the doorbell.

It took an age before it was opened by an old man wearing a cardigan and slippers.

“If you’re selling double glazing I don’t want it. Or a new driveway. I don’t want a time share and I’ve got enough tea towels to last a lifetime.”

“I’m not selling anything.”

“Well you’ll freeze to death out there lad, letting all my good heat out too. You best come in. Don’t suppose you’re a murderer, I’m too old for this life to care anyway and if you’ve come to rob me I’ve got nowt worth having.”

Jeff followed the man as he shuffled down the hall into a stuffy over heated room with the TV turned up loud.

“I was just about to watch The Great Escape, you seen it?” He didn’t wait for Jeff to answer, “Sit down then lad, you’re making the place look untidy.”

The room was uncluttered, TV, two armchairs, clock on the mantelpiece with a photo propped up beside it, mum, dad, three smiling children somewhere in a sunnier place.

“Family?” Jeff said nodding in the direction of the photo.

“Son, daughter-in-law, in Australia. Now shush, film’s about to start.”

Sometimes it didn’t matter where you went, heaven or earth, you were destined to be ordered about.

They watched in silence, each of them so caught up in the familiar story there was no need to speak.

As Steve McQueen was shut in the cooler for the last time the man got to his feet, “Cup of tea?”

“I’d prefer a beer.”

“Oh what the heck, it is Christmas I suppose.” Said the man with a definite twinkle in his eye.

They chinked their glasses together.

“So what’s your story then? Turning up on an old man’s doorstep on Christmas day out of the blue.”

“Would it surprise you if I said I was an angel?”

“An angel! So what’s your name then Gabriel?”

“Jeff”

 “That’s not an angel name. Jeff?” The man shook his head but he was beginning to grin.

“So what’s your name then?”

“Michael.”

“Now that is a good angel name.”

“Pah! You can call me Wombat.”

“Wombat?”

“Always fancied having a nickname. Don’t you think it suits me?” He tried to twitch his whiskery face which made them both suddenly roar with laughter. “It’s good to laugh ain’t it. I ain’t laughed properly for … well for a long time.”

Jeff studied the man, looked at the photo on the mantelpiece and surveyed a room devoid of Christmas cheer. He guessed his mission was just to keep this man company, not much of a special order but he had to admit this wasn’t a bad way to spend Christmas.

They sat companionably, laughing at the festive entertainment on the flickering box in the corner.

All of a sudden Jeff was aware of another presence; the room had become still and quiet for the first time. Anna stood beside Michael’s chair.

“Is he gone?”

She nodded, “Peacefully and happy.”

“And that was my special mission?” 

She opened the folder she was carrying. “Last heartfelt prayer of an old soldier: please don’t let me spend my last Christmas on earth alone.”

Another first ... since the funeral

You would have thought that now I have been widowed for over 2 years I have experienced most of the firsts, first birthday on my own, first Christmas and such like, all the usual anniversaries.

I have even been to a couple of funerals since Andrew’s and managed to get through them in one piece but today was something different.

I went to a wedding, not the first wedding I’ve ever been to without Andrew, not everyone organised their wedding to fit in with his shift patterns. But this was the first wedding I have been to since his funeral.

It was as you expect totally beautiful, the bride looked radiant and the groom smiled at her completely in love. They must have kissed three times when the vicar said they could - such magical moments!

It’s OK to cry at weddings isn’t it?

Good, because I did get a little teary.

Weddings do that to some people, they get carried away by the emotions.

But this is the first time I’ve heard those vows read aloud (well apart from the Royal Wedding on TV or in films).

for better or worse

for richer or poorer

‘til death do us part

GULP – that last one is the emotional hurdle. You never expect it to happen, well not when you are still young enough to have your own hair and teeth.

So I started filling up and my friend beside me squeezed my arm knowingly.

Weddings always bring it back to me just how important the vows are that I once made. I hope they do that to us all who are married re-affirming the way we feel.

I always longingly look at the dress, the flowers, compare the music choices with our own, the new designs for wedding stationary are particularly creative.

If I had the chance again how might I do things differently?

My pondering has taken a strange twist because now there is a faint possibility that I could get married again – OK so it might be a chance as slim as a super model but I can once again look at a wedding through different eyes.

There is a collection of ideas already growing in some dark corner of my brain – I am forever the little girl planning her fairytale.

But I shall never forget the first one and the myriad of precious moments I have gathered in my heart like confetti.

For today’s happy couple I wish them a long and wonderful life together, they have waited so long for this and deserve it.  Whatever ups and downs come their way I pray they will always remember their very special day shared with friends and family and filled to the brim with so much love. 

Maybe, one day, if I ever get married again they can sit at my wedding remembering their vows when I make mine…

Emmanuel’s got the Strictly, X Factor Talent this Christmas!

Last year’s nativity was a challenge in more ways than one and ended up with us “almost” forgetting to add the baby Jesus into the proceedings – you can relive last year’s forgetful tale here.

A few weeks ago I sat the children down and asked for their ideas for this year’s re-telling of the most wonderful story, they came up with:

 

• Using audio visuals
• Using sound effects
• Including puppets
• A Gangnam Style dance off
• X Factor

Every year I have my doubts wondering if I can write another nativity in a fresh new way, especially when the kids give me such a diverse list of requirements, but when you’ve got God on your side whispering ideas into your head as you type it up and pulling the thread together something just clicks and it somehow works. 

Some may scoff but I am convinced I have divine inspiration because each nativity has had an identity of its own with a strong gospel message and that has evolved as the story is written.

This was how the ideas came together for this year’s story…

We started with the glitz and glamour of the X Factor theme and a specially filmed sequence of our town as the judges arrive on stage.

Our four superstar judges were Nicole Scherzinger, Darcey Bussell, Craig Revel Horwood and Head Judge Henry, so that’s one from X Factor, two from Strictly and a lovely little boy who after the first planning session told his mum he was going to be an X Factor judge in the Nativity, so how could I not write him a special part!

Davina McCall and Claudia Winkleman, (again a mash up of Saturday night TV presenters) get to introduce the proceeding and the first contestant is an innocent young woman called Mary.

The judges ask to see her talent, what she can bring to Christmas.

“I’m just ordinary.” Replies Mary a bit bewildered by it all.

But the judges insist she has sparkle and she is overwhelmingly voted through to Bootcamp in Bethlehem.

On her way out Mary encounters an angel who tells her she is to have a baby. Serenely Mary accepts this news because God has ordained it.

The next contestant is Joseph a carpenter who brings some wooden toys to show the judges.

“They’ll come in great for the baby!” exclaims Nicole.

“What baby?” Joseph is decidedly puzzled by this turn of events.

Meanwhile Craig is not impressed with a mere carpenter until his phone rings. 

“That was the head judge in the sky with a seven from heaven – Joseph is automatically through to the next round, something about being a direct descendant of David the King.”

And so Mary and Joseph travel together to Bethlehem, not for a census but for a talent show.

Bethlehem is crowded but they find a friendly innkeeper who has no rooms left but offers them a pop up tent to sleep in.

“It looks a bit wobbly!”

“Oh no it’s stable!”

GROAN!

(Unfortunately the kids forgot this line; we may have to add it in again next year and I must add that it wasn't my joke!)

Mary and Joseph sit outside the tent pondering why they are here in Bethlehem.

“I think it will be OK Mary, I had this dream.” Joseph reassures the young woman by his side.

“Our baby is going to be very special.” Mary replies, totally accepting the new family circumstances they find themselves in.

The next contestants were recorded, an act called the Muppet and the Puppet who were sadly voted off the show, followed by a Gangnam Style dance off between the Wise Women and the Shepherds. This act went through to the live finals – well every nativity need wise women and shepherds!

Our Little Treasures, otherwise known as the crèche, had made a large sparkly star which was placed behind the tent and then they sang Little Donkey – absolutely beautiful – not a dry eye in the church and obviously put through to the final as well!

We took a break from the judging as the innkeeper suggested Mary and Joseph might like to watch some TV with him to pass the time, a quiz show called Pointless. This also appeared on screen pre-recorded featuring the Innkeeper as a contestant.

For those of you who don’t know Pointless is a quiz show where 100 people are given 100 seconds to give as many answers as they can to a question. The contestants have to find a pointless answer, an answer that is correct but that no else has said.

The winners are the pair who score the lowest number of points.

For the final the Innkeeper has to name someone from the nativity, an obscure answer that no one else has said to win the star prize.

He decides that Mary would be a pointless answer but it transpires that ALL 100 people asked have said Mary, therefore she is not pointless at all. 

“But I still don’t understand.” Says Mary on the stage, "I am just ordinary."

Enter the angel with the baby Jesus, a real baby, actually the baby sister of the little girl who played Mary.

“Mary you are so special and God has sent you his own son to take care of.  You and Joseph are to be Jesus’s mum and dad, watching over him as he grows up."

The judges want to see the baby too.

But the angel will only admit them if they stop judging and instead become ordinary shepherds and angels and other nativity characters.

The scene is set as everyone puts on a tea-towel, or a paper crown, angel wings or donkey ears to kneel before the new born King.

 

The nativity was finished off with the Bible reading from 1 Corinthians 1 26-29 

Taken from the "Special Nativity Paraphrased Version 2012"

“Even when God is foolish, he is wiser than everyone else, and even when God is weak, he is stronger than everyone else.

Not many will ever get to be the brightest and the best by the world’s standards.

But God chose the foolish things of this world to put the wise to shame. He chose the weak things of this world to put the powerful to shame.

Isn’t it obvious that God deliberately choses men and women that our culture overlooks and exploits,  God choses “nobodies”, the humble ordinary people, to expose the hollowness of our celebrity?

God could have sent his son emerging from the dry ice on a Saturday night, sprinkled with glitter, voted for by popularity and surrounded by adulation.

Instead God sent an innocent baby who lived most of his life in obscurity and died the cruellest of deaths.

But remember…

Even when God appears foolish, he is wiser than everyone else, and even when God appears weak, he is stronger than everyone else.”