February 29th

An extra day in February only comes along every 4 years, that’s once every 1461 days, I’ve just worked it out and hopefully my maths is correct! 

It’s a day for doing something special. As I have no "frog" to propose to - hahahaha - I chose to spend my day with a friend at the cinema, possibly not the best choice to be shut indoors when the weather is so wonderful and spring like but it’s Orange Wednesday and we did watch the most fabulous film.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.

It has a stellar cast including Dame Judi Dench and Dame Maggie Smith, which is enough to recommend it in itself. 

 

The story is about a group of pensioners enticed to spend their “autumn years” in India at the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel run by young would be entrepreneur Sonny (Dev Patel from Slumdog Millionaire). 

Upon arrival the hotel is not as luxurious as it has been portrayed in the advertising.  This doesn’t deter some of the characters from throwing themselves into the local culture, while others flounder in a foreign land. As the story develops we find out more about each character’s secrets and why they decided to take a huge risk upping sticks and moving half way around the globe.

Judi Dench’s character Evelyn has recently been widowed and the film starts with her trying to get through to her internet provider and explain that they can’t talk to the account holder as he has died – gosh I remember that conversation so clearly. The sheer frustration of it.

It is easy to see why Evelyn wants to get away and longs for a fresh start. I was rooting for her from the beginning, hoping India would provide the answers she needed, a place where she fitted in, a happy ending. She also writes a blog of her adventures which is the narrative holding the plot together. It not difficult to see why she was my favourite character.

There are plenty of twists and turns to the story. Nothing works out quite how anyone expects but each character makes self-discoveries along the way.

“It will all be alright in the end and if it isn’t alright it isn’t the end.” Is a profound catchphrase that is uttered throughout, especially when things look bleak and there are inevitable disappointments.

I took comfort from the saying it means I am still somewhere in the middle of my own story too because everything is not quite “alright”!

The film has also rekindled a sense of adventure and a yearning to travel. India might still be a bit exotic as yet but I have already been plotting a trip, maybe somewhere in Europe and I want to take one on my own just like the characters in the story.

Oldest son has holidays booked for this year, youngest son is a definite homebird like his father preferring to stay put.

I need a chance to spread my wings, but unlike those in the film my stay will be shorter I will have to come home to my parental responsibilities. I can’t take off indefinitely like the pensioners whose offspring her flown the nest. That’s the predicament I find myself in.

Being widowed young doesn’t make me unique or special but it does create interesting problems. 

There are others of us out there. But we are a bit rare like a February 29th, in some ways just another day but not something you encounter every day or even every year. 

 

I tried to check the statistics, am I one in 1461? All I found were dating websites for widows – best not go there again so soon -  I’m off to check out single holidays instead…

...and if you get a chance to go to the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel my advice is to take it, I promise you won't be disappointed.

Days Off

As I have been feeling under the weather I have taken a couple of days off.  However as I do not have a full time paid job I always struggle with what the term actually means for me.

My full-time profession is as a mother and I long for a career as a writer.  These two strands of my life have continued despite the hiatus. 

I haven’t stopped writing because it brings me so much joy.  Although I must admit I have spent too much time recently blogging, networking and talking about writing.   I really must set aside time to work on turning “unravelling-edges” into a book or at least a proposal to send out to agents.

Being a parent is a full time necessity.  The only way to take time off is to make complex contingency plans for someone else to step into your shoes temporarily.  Single parenthood is particularly difficult or as a fellow widow said to me this year,

“We are not single parents but double parents

 – having to be both mother and father.”

There is no “other” parent waiting in the wings to share the duties with.

With the planned strikes tomorrow there are going to be more people than usual juggling work and family commitments.  There are no easy answers.

So what did I do on my days off?  Apart from blogging and catching up with emails not a lot but I did lie on the sofa and watch a film, trying NOT to feel guilty for doing so.  It took me both days to get it finished!

I could justify anything writing related but just sitting on the sofa in the middle of the day was a different matter even if I did feel ill.  It was just a bit too decadent.

Maybe what I really need is a break from the “guilt”. 

Why not give yourself the day off from it too?