The Day We Met Tim Vine

My brightest highlight of the summer happened one Wednesday afternoon. I’ve never been much of a fan of Wednesdays, I even wrote a blog post about it once but 21st August 2013 was probably the best Wednesday there has ever been, except perhaps the one when I was born!

Youngest son and I were in Edinburgh waiting for the Tim Vine Chat Show, there wasn’t much of a queue when we arrived, just one family of 4 in front of us but we still had over half an hour to wait. I’d already made youngest son walk round the courtyard once so we didn’t appear too keen!

There had been a few spots of rain earlier in the day but suddenly the clouds parted, I slipped off my cardigan and enjoyed the summer sunshine on my bare shoulders, glad for the first time that day I had chosen my pretty, strappy summer top to wear. 

Then I looked around and spotted Tim Vine walking towards us!!!!!

I manhandled youngest son so he was looking in the right direction, he’s never been terribly observant.

“Who can you see?” I hissed in his ear. “Do you want to show him your Lego figure?”

is it a banana or is it a torch?

I got the Lego man out of my pocket thinking we would have to pounce as Tim walked past to get his attention but he actually came and stood behind us in the queue, cheekily asked who we were waiting for and if was he any good.

He liked the Lego version youngest son had made to show him. 

Personally I liked the real version standing in front of us, he looked just as gorgeous as he does on TV and I couldn’t believe he was standing here talking to us!

Is now a good time to mention I have a tiny little crush on him and he was the main reason we had chosen Edinburgh for our holiday destination?

When he wandered off the lady in front of us in the queue said she had a photo of us talking to him. Well a photo with a bit of us in, she had tried to cut us off altogether, but she offered to email it to me. My hands were shaking as I typed my email address into her unfamiliar phone.

The queue started to grow then, oblivious that the star of the show had just been chatting with us.

Eventually the doors opened and we sat ourselves down on the front row in the middle, it was a small venue and the stage was only inches away!

As part of the show Tim invites members of the audience on stage to interview them.  He said outside that he liked youngest son and he should fill in a form but as he wasn’t bothered and I was I filled in the form and made sure I had handed mine back first! I wrote “My son’s the one with the Lego figure!” just to increase my chances of being picked.

The lights dimmed and I sat getting nervous – what if he picked me? Or worse - what if he didn’t?

Too late to worry about that now Tim Vine burst onto the stage, larger than life wearing a pair of glasses made from sweets.

“EYE CANDY!” He said.

From where I was sitting he really didn’t need them – and I had a whole hour to sit back, relax, enjoy the show from pole position – hahahahaha!

Well he sang a song, something about miracles that I’ve never heard before and suddenly there is a microphone in front of my face. Fortunately before I even get chance to open my mouth you can hear a disembodied voice coming over the speakers singing a line of the song – oh why, oh why did we sit so close? My face probably matched my freshly dyed red hair now - well I did want him to notice me!

Do I believe in miracles? Hmmmmm – maybe? Can I think about that one?

He said, “My hamster died today but that’s OK he left me something in his wheel!”

Then he made the “mistake” of getting youngest son on stage to show off his Tshirt with a hamster face on it.

is it a guinea pig or is it a hamster?

“It’s a guinea pig!” Youngest son corrected – no microphone required for his outburst! He’s very fond of this Tshirt, the face looks just like our guinea pig Flash. Most beloved guinea pig in the world since our other guinea pig Fluffy died earlier in the year.

Youngest son sat down, I probably blushed even more from embarrassment as Tim Vine laid his hand on my shoulder, “You’ll have problems with him,” he said or something in a similar vein.

“I know.” I muttered meekly. 

Tim Vine had his hand on my shoulder and my son had just been so rude and the moment passed in a blur…

We’d already moved on, more jokes, songs, the first guest, a man who sold oxygen to hospitals!

Then suddenly it was my turn as my name was called and I was up on stage.

Now I’d meticulously planned this moment, I’d planned what I was going to wear (that strappy top was a definitely a great idea, I've often thought my shoulders were one of my best features!)  I was going to be the best guest ever. I was going to be articulate, witty, pretty…

I even imagined a daydream where things didn’t go so perfectly, one where I tripped getting up on stage and Tim Vine caught me – hahahahaha!

None of these things happened – I almost wished I wasn’t there – but only ALMOST!

Today I shall be pretty and witty and funny but suddenly I can’t string together a sentence or a story. It’s not the first time I have gone to pieces, lost for words in front of an attractive single man, I don’t suppose it will be the last.

I try to tell the tale of the time I ended up in a cage with 5 baby gorillas, but I don't sound all that coherent. 

I look into the audience and you can’t see anyone beyond the front two rows, the lights are so dazzling.

I was at college and we were making a film about endangered animals and I had to interview the zoo keeper and this all made perfect sense when I thought about it in the middle of the night.

And all the while Tim is telling other jokes between my disjointed sentences, he touched my knee as he thought of another one to tell and wanders off.

“It’s not about you.” I remember him saying.

“You know when you are trying to do a serious interview and it doesn’t quite go to plan!” 

Where did that come from? 

Oh that was me, I’d found my voice and I got a laugh from the darkness. I giggled suddenly trying to be demure and bashful, I think I even fluttered my eyelashes, was this really the best time to start flirting?

It wasn’t long before I found myself back in my seat in the front row! 

PHEW - that was hard work – I hope I didn’t really upset him?

Then he asked to see the Lego model to show everyone so I guess I didn’t disgrace myself too much!

All too soon the hour was up and youngest son and I pushed our way through the crowd, we had to run to get to Radio 2 tent for the Simon Mayo Drivetime Show – rumour had it Tim Vine would be there with his confession so we really couldn’t miss that!

“Well done!” Someone said to me as we left.

“Thank you!” I answered somewhat relieved the show was over – I don’t think I could do that for a living!

February 29th

An extra day in February only comes along every 4 years, that’s once every 1461 days, I’ve just worked it out and hopefully my maths is correct! 

It’s a day for doing something special. As I have no "frog" to propose to - hahahaha - I chose to spend my day with a friend at the cinema, possibly not the best choice to be shut indoors when the weather is so wonderful and spring like but it’s Orange Wednesday and we did watch the most fabulous film.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.

It has a stellar cast including Dame Judi Dench and Dame Maggie Smith, which is enough to recommend it in itself. 

 

The story is about a group of pensioners enticed to spend their “autumn years” in India at the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel run by young would be entrepreneur Sonny (Dev Patel from Slumdog Millionaire). 

Upon arrival the hotel is not as luxurious as it has been portrayed in the advertising.  This doesn’t deter some of the characters from throwing themselves into the local culture, while others flounder in a foreign land. As the story develops we find out more about each character’s secrets and why they decided to take a huge risk upping sticks and moving half way around the globe.

Judi Dench’s character Evelyn has recently been widowed and the film starts with her trying to get through to her internet provider and explain that they can’t talk to the account holder as he has died – gosh I remember that conversation so clearly. The sheer frustration of it.

It is easy to see why Evelyn wants to get away and longs for a fresh start. I was rooting for her from the beginning, hoping India would provide the answers she needed, a place where she fitted in, a happy ending. She also writes a blog of her adventures which is the narrative holding the plot together. It not difficult to see why she was my favourite character.

There are plenty of twists and turns to the story. Nothing works out quite how anyone expects but each character makes self-discoveries along the way.

“It will all be alright in the end and if it isn’t alright it isn’t the end.” Is a profound catchphrase that is uttered throughout, especially when things look bleak and there are inevitable disappointments.

I took comfort from the saying it means I am still somewhere in the middle of my own story too because everything is not quite “alright”!

The film has also rekindled a sense of adventure and a yearning to travel. India might still be a bit exotic as yet but I have already been plotting a trip, maybe somewhere in Europe and I want to take one on my own just like the characters in the story.

Oldest son has holidays booked for this year, youngest son is a definite homebird like his father preferring to stay put.

I need a chance to spread my wings, but unlike those in the film my stay will be shorter I will have to come home to my parental responsibilities. I can’t take off indefinitely like the pensioners whose offspring her flown the nest. That’s the predicament I find myself in.

Being widowed young doesn’t make me unique or special but it does create interesting problems. 

There are others of us out there. But we are a bit rare like a February 29th, in some ways just another day but not something you encounter every day or even every year. 

 

I tried to check the statistics, am I one in 1461? All I found were dating websites for widows – best not go there again so soon -  I’m off to check out single holidays instead…

...and if you get a chance to go to the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel my advice is to take it, I promise you won't be disappointed.

Girl Seeks Jedi

It’s Wednesday again and the day my cleaner comes.  After last week’s strenuous gravel shovelling I decided we should do something less demanding.  We tackled the playroom.  Rearranging furniture and chucking out the ever increasing clutter together before she did the hoovering.

It is my grand plan that WHEN I sell the house and finally move the only thing left in my house will be the stuff we actually NEED – yes I can hear you all laughing, especially those of you who know me and my family’s hoarding habits.

My cleaner is great at getting me to throw things out.  I’m even getting the hang of it now and make a lot of my own decisions on what’s going for good!

However as with tidying anything belonging to the boys it is imperative you don’t disturb the vitally important stuff.  With this in mind I carefully picked up the most recent Lego creation of a temple complete with trap door, very Indiana Jones, and placed it on a chair.  I thought I had retrieved all the Lego Star Wars characters that went with it but alas I was mistaken.

There was uproar when youngest son got home.

“Where’s Shaak Ti?”

“What’s that?”

“Not what!  She’s a Jedi!”

“She must be in the Lego box.” 

There was a time when ALL the Lego was sorted into neatly labelled boxes.  Now there is a box, or maybe three or four with Lego waiting to be correctly identified and put away.

“It’s OK I’ll find it!”  I declared, I couldn’t cope with full scale mutiny, it was the easy option.  “What does it look like?”

“SHE looks like this.”  He produced the box with an unlikely looking character with blue and white stripy hair.

Not an original character.  I can easily identify Han Solo, Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia.

Youngest son knows most things about Star Wars and enlightened me by saying she was a character who only appeared in a deleted scene of episode 3.  He thinks it’s pretty shocking that someone had to get dressed up and made up for the part only to end up removed altogether.

I found her in the box of assorted Lego and youngest son was delighted at the reunion.  She is a rare and therefore special Jedi, if not to the whole world at least to one happy eleven year old.

Lots of people I know are down at the moment, feeling left out, unimportant, almost deleted.  I blame the change in the weather and the dark nights.

Just remember sometimes it isn’t the popular characters who are most cherished but the unique and quirky ones.  And it’s shocking when they get overlooked!