Sunday, 1 September 2013

The Day We Met Tim Vine

My brightest highlight of the summer happened one Wednesday afternoon. I’ve never been much of a fan of Wednesdays, I even wrote a blog post about it once but 21st August 2013 was probably the best Wednesday there has ever been, except perhaps the one when I was born!

Youngest son and I were in Edinburgh waiting for the Tim Vine Chat Show, there wasn’t much of a queue when we arrived, just one family of 4 in front of us but we still had over half an hour to wait. I’d already made youngest son walk round the courtyard once so we didn’t appear too keen!

There had been a few spots of rain earlier in the day but suddenly the clouds parted, I slipped off my cardigan and enjoyed the summer sunshine on my bare shoulders, glad for the first time that day I had chosen my pretty, strappy summer top to wear. 

Then I looked around and spotted Tim Vine walking towards us!!!!!

I manhandled youngest son so he was looking in the right direction, he’s never been terribly observant.

“Who can you see?” I hissed in his ear. “Do you want to show him your Lego figure?”

is it a banana or is it a torch?
I got the Lego man out of my pocket thinking we would have to pounce as Tim walked past to get his attention but he actually came and stood behind us in the queue, cheekily asked who we were waiting for and if was he any good.

He liked the Lego version youngest son had made to show him. 

Personally I liked the real version standing in front of us, he looked just as gorgeous as he does on TV and I couldn’t believe he was standing here talking to us!

Is now a good time to mention I have a tiny little crush on him and he was the main reason we had chosen Edinburgh for our holiday destination?

When he wandered off the lady in front of us in the queue said she had a photo of us talking to him. Well a photo with a bit of us in, she had tried to cut us off altogether, but she offered to email it to me. My hands were shaking as I typed my email address into her unfamiliar phone.

The queue started to grow then, oblivious that the star of the show had just been chatting with us.

Eventually the doors opened and we sat ourselves down on the front row in the middle, it was a small venue and the stage was only inches away!

As part of the show Tim invites members of the audience on stage to interview them.  He said outside that he liked youngest son and he should fill in a form but as he wasn’t bothered and I was I filled in the form and made sure I had handed mine back first! I wrote “My son’s the one with the Lego figure!” just to increase my chances of being picked.

The lights dimmed and I sat getting nervous – what if he picked me? Or worse - what if he didn’t?

Too late to worry about that now Tim Vine burst onto the stage, larger than life wearing a pair of glasses made from sweets.

“EYE CANDY!” He said.

From where I was sitting he really didn’t need them – and I had a whole hour to sit back, relax, enjoy the show from pole position – hahahahaha!

Well he sang a song, something about miracles that I’ve never heard before and suddenly there is a microphone in front of my face. Fortunately before I even get chance to open my mouth you can hear a disembodied voice coming over the speakers singing a line of the song – oh why, oh why did we sit so close? My face probably matched my freshly dyed red hair now - well I did want him to notice me!

Do I believe in miracles? Hmmmmm – maybe? Can I think about that one?

He said, “My hamster died today but that’s OK he left me something in his wheel!”

Then he made the “mistake” of getting youngest son on stage to show off his Tshirt with a hamster face on it.
is it a guinea pig or is it a hamster?

“It’s a guinea pig!” Youngest son corrected – no microphone required for his outburst! He’s very fond of this Tshirt, the face looks just like our guinea pig Flash. Most beloved guinea pig in the world since our other guinea pig Fluffy died earlier in the year.

Youngest son sat down, I probably blushed even more from embarrassment as Tim Vine laid his hand on my shoulder, “You’ll have problems with him,” he said or something in a similar vein.

“I know.” I muttered meekly. 

Tim Vine had his hand on my shoulder and my son had just been so rude and the moment passed in a blur…

We’d already moved on, more jokes, songs, the first guest, a man who sold oxygen to hospitals!

Then suddenly it was my turn as my name was called and I was up on stage.

Now I’d meticulously planned this moment, I’d planned what I was going to wear (that strappy top was a definitely a great idea, I've often thought my shoulders were one of my best features!)  I was going to be the best guest ever. I was going to be articulate, witty, pretty…

I even imagined a daydream where things didn’t go so perfectly, one where I tripped getting up on stage and Tim Vine caught me – hahahahaha!

None of these things happened – I almost wished I wasn’t there – but only ALMOST!

Today I shall be pretty and witty and funny but suddenly I can’t string together a sentence or a story. It’s not the first time I have gone to pieces, lost for words in front of an attractive single man, I don’t suppose it will be the last.

I try to tell the tale of the time I ended up in a cage with 5 baby gorillas, but I don't sound all that coherent. 

I look into the audience and you can’t see anyone beyond the front two rows, the lights are so dazzling.

I was at college and we were making a film about endangered animals and I had to interview the zoo keeper and this all made perfect sense when I thought about it in the middle of the night.

And all the while Tim is telling other jokes between my disjointed sentences, he touched my knee as he thought of another one to tell and wanders off.

“It’s not about you.” I remember him saying.

“You know when you are trying to do a serious interview and it doesn’t quite go to plan!” 

Where did that come from? 

Oh that was me, I’d found my voice and I got a laugh from the darkness. I giggled suddenly trying to be demure and bashful, I think I even fluttered my eyelashes, was this really the best time to start flirting?

It wasn’t long before I found myself back in my seat in the front row! 

PHEW - that was hard work – I hope I didn’t really upset him?

Then he asked to see the Lego model to show everyone so I guess I didn’t disgrace myself too much!

All too soon the hour was up and youngest son and I pushed our way through the crowd, we had to run to get to Radio 2 tent for the Simon Mayo Drivetime Show – rumour had it Tim Vine would be there with his confession so we really couldn’t miss that!

“Well done!” Someone said to me as we left.

“Thank you!” I answered somewhat relieved the show was over – I don’t think I could do that for a living!

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