Letter to... a younger me

I've wanted to write something like this for a while but have been too dithery...

Anyway this week I am once again linking up with other friends also writing their own letters to themselves.

Thanks to guest host Melanie at Indirect Revelation!

Dear younger me...

I have just two basic things to tell you.

Number 1

STOP CHASING AFTER BOYS WHO ARE NOT REMOTELY INTERESTED IN YOU

– IT’S SUCH A WASTE OF TIME.

Sadly, as deep down you already suspect these boys will NEVER ever like you in the way you want them to and I know how much it pains you now but honestly in the end it really doesn’t matter.

You can send them the cutest Valentine’s cards, bake them the most delicious cakes. You can laugh at their jokes, join the Madness fanclub to get some male attention and even help them with their maths homework but I’m afraid they will always prefer your best friend, who’s more quiet, less desperate and not nearly as much of a challenge as you would be!

You can type up a whole dissertation and HE won’t notice you – go and spend time doing something you would rather be doing!

That is until ONE DAY

(believe me ONE DAY really DOES happen!)

Unexpectedly, out of the blue, someone WILL turn up who is just so perfect. He will laugh at your silly jokes, he will value your sometimes wild opinions, and he will trust you with his deepest secrets.

HE will hold your hand and love you so much - always.

You just have to WAIT…

…which is HARD…

…because you will have to wait…

…quite a while…

… actually…

…so please use that time wisely, go and read Pride and Prejudice - Miss Creek was right you will enjoy it.

Be just like Elizabeth Bennett and don’t settle for anything less than your own Mr Darcy! A bit grumpy round the edges but you will melt his heart and bring out the very best in him.

And for goodness sake go and WRITE instead of just daydreaming all the time, let your imagination wander and create brand new worlds, adventures and wonderful characters. Write just for fun and NEVER let anyone stop you.

Now I know for a fact you WON’T listen to my first piece of advice, you are too stubborn and think you can do things your own way. Which is why I’ve been so blunt with you – don’t get in a strop with me I know you far too well! 

BUT PLEASE REMEMBER THIS

You are NOT fat or ugly or any of those other stupid lies you tell yourself to explain the fact you are single. There is NOT something fundamentally wrong with you that makes you unattractive to the opposite sex.

I wonder sometimes if I will ever learn.

Which brings me to what is perhaps an even more important lesson and something more specific I need you to do…

Number 2

One Wednesday afternoon when you have just got home from college and you are tired from your 4 hour train journey, and mum says “grandma’s been asking after you, she wants to see you” don’t put it off your visit until the next day… 

…tomorrows rarely happen the way you plan!

Try to enjoy the here and now and never take anyone for granted because ONE DAY they might not be around and you will miss them more than you can ever imagine…

Twice a month, we will provide you with a Letters To prompt and a welcoming space to share it.  The link-ups are usually  hosted alternately by Ruth at {learning one day at a time} and Sabrina at Just Keep Singing.  This week, though, the beautiful Melanie has stepped up to guest host for us.

A few guidelines:

• Check back every 1st and 3rd Tuesday of the month for your prompt
  
• Write something!
  
• Grab the button and link back here within your post
  
• Enter your URL into the linky

• Be sure to read one or two other posts and leave some words of encouragement!

• Whether you stick to a personal letter format, or run off on a tangent based loosely around the prompt, we'd love to read your posts.  We'll leave the creative details up to you!

Occupation versus Passion

Inevitably it happened again, the form asked for me to fill in my occupation.

SIGH

What do I write? I don’t work so I write “full time mum” then add “part time charity shop volunteer” for good measure as a way of showing I am not really so boring and predictable.

I want to write sooooo much more – that must be the writer in me!

How do I sum up what I do, and why oh why is it so important for everyone else to define it?

I noticed on my car insurance my occupation is listed as housewife/husband – hmmm I strangely like that, at least it sort of values, even unintentionally, that I am both mum and dad - actually!

Then this tweet appeared on my twitter feed

If I asked you, instead of what you do for a living, what your passion is in life, what would you say?

“Great question” I tweeted back, which then begs the next question – how would I answer the first one?

Obviously my greatest passion is my boys, they are EVERYTHING to me, even when they are complete pains.

I was yelling at oldest son the other day in the car, complaining yet again that I have no freedom to do what I want and haven’t had since the day he was born – OUCH!

“I’m sorry I’ve ruined your life!” He said back – he’s much calmer than me!

Then I had to hastily take it all back – how did I get to be so cruel? If it wasn’t for the boys where would I be? Without them my life would have completely collapsed on 13th November 2010. There would have been no reason to get out of bed or carry on in the days/weeks/months and now years that have followed.

I am very passionate about my boys. I want to see them succeed in what they want to “do” – the irony of that is not lost on me!

I want them to enjoy life, to have friends who love them, to grow up to be compassionate and caring. I want the world to see how amazing they are the way I do on a good day!

No children should have to lose their dad aged 13 or 10 and yet they are growing into fabulous young men before my eyes even without a major male role model to look up to.

I am also passionate that they know Jesus, who is actually the most perfect role model they could ever follow.

But I can’t make them share my beliefs and I pray that one day it will make sense to them too. 

God’s got a bit of work to do to convince oldest son especially that He is a loving God even when He allowed their dad to die. I just trust God is big enough to sort that one out some day because I have NO answers!

However it is not just my own children who I want to share the Good News of Jesus with. This morning I have been in school again with the Open the Book team to tell another Bible story.

It is evident I am passionate on a Wednesday morning as I almost bounce Tigger-like into school. I love the dressing up, the story telling and I enjoy interacting with a whole room full of kids and making the Bible come alive for them because to me the stories are very important, yes because they are the Bible but also because I love telling stories in whatever form.

I’m passionate about my writing and I have friends urging me to continue my Esther story and I know I need to just keep writing regardless of who reads this.

Writing is just something I DO whether or not it is my career or occupation; I enjoy it too much to stop. And whenever I do stop I get grumpy and horrible to live with.

Which brings me full circle to shouting at the boys – I only shout because I care and I care because these things are important to me.

These things are my passions and they are far more important than my occupation!

Now how do I fit all that onto your little form?

keys of his own

Yesterday I had a new set of house keys cut, two front door keys for youngest son.

It was suggested by the other mum who shares the school run duties with me that maybe our youngest boys need some more freedom and independence. To that end neither of us will be waiting in the car at the school gates tonight.

Their options are, get the bus, which to be fair they have managed before on occasion, to arrange to go and see a friend or to walk.

Oldest son is getting the bus, there’s tennis on TV and he can’t miss it if he wants a career as a sports reporter!

Youngest son has elected to walk and has merrily been plotting his route to include a visit to Sainsbury’s to buy a Lego minifigure.

He probably won’t need his new keys today, oldest son is bound to get home first and should let him in, but he is nearly 13 and the time has come that he should be responsible enough to have his own set.

Another step towards adulthood as I let out the apron strings a notch further.  

Lone parenting is never easy and once more I wonder what Andrew’s attitude would be?  He used to remark to his mother that he didn’t want to see our youngest grow up. He was always worried about what the boys would do when they were older, what careers would be open to them. He had been through an apprenticeship and his path was set, times have changed and life is far more uncertain and changeable. It frightened Andrew that there were no clear cut answers.

I must confess to having my own concerns about youngest son. He is small for his age, half of the year sevens who started secondary school only yesterday are already taller than him. A teacher commented at lunch that his sandwich was bigger than he was!

He is also a very innocent child, nowhere near as worldly wise as most children his age seem to be. He’s lost in a fantasy world of adventure most of the time.

However he has a big personality, he knows his own mind and can have an incredibly sensible head on his shoulders when needed.  I am sure that the more independence I give him the more he will grow and ultimately surprise me in a new found maturity.

There are advantages for me too; I no longer have to make sure I am back for 3pm on a school day.

More possibilities are unlocked from this one set of keys than first meets the eye. And so we all begin the next chapter.