More than a handful of conkers

God has been speaking to me recently, sometimes I even turn my ear to catch what it is He has to say. 

The word he repeatedly whispers and often shouts at me at the moment is ASK!

The trouble is I can’t decide what I should be ASKING for, something holy or something more personal and therefore seemingly frivolous. I don’t want to present God with a shopping list of wonderful wishes but I get the impression he wants me to ASK Him for much more than I do.

On Sunday afternoon I went down to the bottom of the garden to collect conkers, we have several horse chestnut trees. I took a shoe box and within a short space of time I had filled it with lusciously glossy fruit. 

I am so aware that God has given me much; my own shoe box is full of abundant gifts and talents that I don’t always know what to do with. And there are so many more conkers within my reach.

I can’t ASK for anything more but maybe I need to ASK what I should do with what I’ve already got. 

ASK for help when I don’t know where to begin.

ASK how I should be filling my days, protecting my writing time, which I know as I sit here and write this is important and crucial for my wellbeing.

ASK for wisdom as I sort my paperwork and clutter – what is necessary and what can I throw away?

ASK for peace as we approach November and the 3 year anniversary of Andrew’s death.

And ASK for some more of that JOY I wanted to find in the summer.

As for the conkers I have left some in a box by the front gate for children who pass to find, or if they venture as far as my front door and ASK nicely I will gladly give them a handful with a smile.

So how much more will my Father in heaven give me the good gifts that I ASK for.