Friday, 17 February 2012

The W Word

There’s one word I loathe with a passion, especially when applied to me although I use it all the time on others. It begins with a W.

It’s not widow as you might expect. Oh no I have come to terms with that particular word in a roundabout fashion. It’s been months since I changed my relationship status on Facebook to embrace being a widow. Somehow it expresses that although now single I was once loved. There is a tragic element about it; one word can say so much.

No the word I dislike beginning with a W is WAIT.

It is a word I employ all the time with the boys and their demands so why do I think I am a different case? Be honest don’t we all think we should have our needs met NOW?

Wait is a word I keep hearing, it’s whispered and very subtle but I read it often on Twitter, it is spoken in conversations and I even found myself writing about it.

When I wrote the poem At The Bus Stop only a few days ago I was very aware that I had jumped from winter to summer in a stanza completely missing out spring. When I thought about adding an extra verse I knew it would be dull with not much happening.

Waiting for a bus is no more exciting than waiting for anything else.

So what am I waiting for?

“Spring is generally a good time to sell houses.”

Well the snowdrops are out, the estate agent tells me my house is getting a lot of interest online so where are the potential buyers? I feel stuck in a rut and long to relocate my life. I don’t want to play taxi service forever, I want the boys to be able to walk to school, I want to just pop across the road to see a friend and have a cuppa.

I also long and hope for a new relationship. I miss being part of a couple.

At least on-line dating was being proactive, even if it wasn’t a fulfilling experience. Now I am twiddling my thumbs waiting for my handsome prince to turn up.

“Don’t you know any single men?” I asked my brother-in-law.

He eventually remembered one who sounds perfect – except he lives miles away. After a few days of daydreaming I landed with another bump as nothing is happening. Guess I have to sit and wait it out.

And then there is my writing, waiting for that miraculous moment when I will be discovered and published. (I really know how to daydream!)

This is the one thing I CAN actually do something about. I SHOULD be doing something about but I spend too much energy moaning about the things I cannot change, trying to shift the things that I am incapable moving.

Here’s something I found from a blog I follow Thing We Forget

I love writing, every time I sit at the laptop I get a kick out of playing with words on the page. I love that I can type quicker these days. Getting positive feedback from friends lifts my day. More and more I hear from people I have never met and I am thrilled that my words are reaching out and touching hearts.

And here are some words I found on Twitter

At least as important as the things we wait for is the work God wants to do in us as we wait

I’m so glad God is not shouting at me but dropping these thoughts into my consciousness instead. He knows what I really want and I didn’t have to write it here for him to figure it out.  I am sure that writing is the task he has given me to do and as for all the other stuff … once more I hand it all over, just please give me some patience as I wait!

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