Monday, 16 April 2012

Dreams - old and new

You may remember a few weeks ago oldest son tried out to be a ball boy at the O2 Arena in November. It’s a very prestigious event in the tennis calendar with only the world's top 8 players gaining entry. I wrote about it here.

Although he had a lovely day at the trial he wasn’t picked for the next stage of selection.  However he got the chance this weekend to be a ball boy at a smaller tournament closer to home.

The biggest name there was Dan Evans the British number 4 or 6 depending on which website you look at and ranked 176th in the world. He was the hero of the Davis Cup team back in February so oldest son thought it a great privilege to appear on the same court as him.

As well as his experience on court he has written about his day and sent it to the editor of a local tennis magazine. Oldest son is going to be published way ahead of his mother and he is completely blasé about the whole affair, casually mentioning in the car that he’d had a reply to his email and the next magazine is out in May.

Am I proud? Absolutely!

Am I jealous? I can’t pretend I’m not. Does that make me a bad parent or an honest one?

Today I read an interesting article about pushy parents and how basically they are competitive for their own gratification, “look what a great parent I am”!

I’ve always preferred to underplay things, rarely boasting of my little darlings’ achievements. Unsure I suppose that I am doing that great a job and knowing I can’t compete with the sometimes spurious claims of others. Sometimes it’s best just to let people believe their own hype, it makes them feel better.

Besides I am a little suspicious of parents who push their children so much to succeed. Does it mean they’ve given up on their own dreams and ambitions and are now living their lives vicariously through their offspring?

I’m still not ready to give up on my dreams even if the chances of succeeding are infinitesimally small. Even with my rash statements about being a pessimist and despite feeling pretty hopeless right now, somewhere deep down is the tiniest of spark that one day I can be the centre of attention.

Maybe I am in the wrong and need to pass on the baton of hopes and dreams to the boys, knowing the years have passed me by and it is their time now.

Better still I should encourage, help and inspire them the best I can to keep pushing on to reach their goals however old they get!

Meanwhile on the subject of just how wonderful my sons are – youngest son made coleslaw today at school and it was delicious - next week scones and I can't wait!


  1. Please don't, don't, don't give up on your dreams! There's no better example to your kids than following yours. My Dad is in his 80s now and he is so unhappy about all the things he never did. No one stopped him, just his sense of what a parent should or shouldn't do. Every single person would rather he was happy and fulfilled, whatever it was. And you can achieve so much, so quickly. It is STILL your time and it always will be. There's no better example than leading by example - and then you get to share success and happiness.

    Well done on having too happy, lovely boys (a dream fulfilled in itself) :-)

  2. You still have half your life ahead of you, don't you dare give up on your hopes and dreams. You are amazing and your writing is honest and very real!

  3. What a touching and honest post. It wasn't until well into adulthood that I realized my mother was at times jealous of my success, and I realized because I saw it in me as my kids grew older. But my children--now teenagers--have also taught me that when I accomplish a creative goal, THEY are proud, and also inspired. That is, ultimately, how I feel about their success as well. So pursuing dreams is mutually supportive, methinks.