Well apart from a few minor details my new kitchen is finished... hooray!
Here's what it looks like...
I am of course delighted with it and will enjoy every moment I get to spend in it... because who knows how long I will be living here!
Below is the new picture I bought especially for my kitchen only hours before I got the call from the estate agent. I'd seen it weeks ago and knew it would match my new decor perfectly.
All I know for certain is wherever I go and wherever I live I will take these sentiments and this picture with me!
Sometimes I get the feeling that God’s on the move, I get a
sense that something momentous is about to happen.
Sometimes I am even proved right when the most unexpected
things occur out of the blue.
Because I am not always right I don’t totally trust these
feelings but yesterday was such a day with thoughts bubbling away beneath the
surface.
Now I am a girl with a great imagination, I can daydream the
most impossible scenarios which in my head seem completely plausible. If God
wants to surprise me he’s got to come up with something spectacular.
It was as simple as a phone call.
It was the estate agent ringing to say someone is interested
in buying my house, my house that has not even been on the market for a year.
(I’ve just found last year’s diary, it was a year ago
exactly that I bounced on the bed and started pulling woodchip wallpaper off my
bedroom ceiling with a view to decorating and staying put for the time being. I have been busy with my home improvements ever since.)
God has always had plans for this house, trouble is he never
tells me the whole story; I get cross, confused and have ended up in tears so
many times as I struggle to understand what’s going on but somewhere behind the
scenes God had been working things out.
Now this may all come to nothing, in which case I can enjoy
my new kitchen, eat my strawberries, look forward to the greengages that may
appear next year and spend another cosy Christmas sat beside my real log fire.
On the other hand I could be at the beginning of a brand new
chapter, perhaps an entirely new story is unfolding…
I could write a long list of pros and cons however I’m trying not to think about it too much, I’m not even looking for a
new house yet, although my best friend has already found a few possible
properties I should investigate.
I am going to try to be still, trusting God and his plans. I don’t
understand them, they make no sense to me especially when I have just spent two
months living in total kitchen chaos.
Doing the unexpected seems to be God's specialty!
Two days before Andrew died God sent me a rainbow, typically
while I was driving, and the song I was listening to had these words,
“Forever God is faithful
Forever God is strong
Forever God is with us
Forever, forever
From the rising to the setting
sun
His love endures forever
And by the grace of God we will
carry on
His love endures forever”
Although I never knew what was about to happen, I knew for
certain God was with us and have always held onto that thought.
This week I’ve been listening to two other songs in the car the
first is called Faithful, this time by the Rend Collective Experiment,
"There’s
no words that you’ve spoken
That haven’t brought hope
No promise you’ve made
You haven’t fulfilled”
And then God you are my God by Pete James, which I have sung as a prayer for the past week or so as I try to figure out what I am supposed to be doing,
"God you are my God
And earnestly I seek you
God you are my God
And earnestly I seek you
And my soul longs for you
And my soul longs for you
One
thing I ask,and one thing I seek
That all the days of my life
I may dwell in Your house
And gaze on your beauty."
So all I have to do is cling on and wait and see where this
adventure takes us because I know for sure that God is right in the middle
of all that has happened, is happening and will happen ...
I am in a great mood at the moment and I'm sure the sunshine has a lot to do with it. I just need to look out of the open window to see beautiful blue sky and I can feel a gentle breeze blowing across my skin.
My facebook page is full of happy updates and pictures, my new kitchen, fantastic tennis on TV (I even went to Wimbledon with oldest son in the first week), I've eaten strawberries picked from my garden and the kids had fun splashing about on the beach on Saturday evening.
However first thing this morning things didn't look so bright in this part of the world. The North East coast was covered by a light sea mist and the temperature had dramatically dropped.
"Oh bother!"
I go walking with friends on a Monday morning and we had been looking forward to a walk in the sunshine. Today low tide fell at exactly the right time for us to walk around the cliffs on the beach and rocks without getting cut off or swept away. Last week we'd walked along the top and we were keen to see a very different view out to sea.
With the change in weather should we change our plans? There was very little debate - we decided we should go for it anyway - there are too few weeks left before the kids break up for the school holidays.
Instead we changed our clothes to whatever we each felt appropriate for a cooler walk and we set off.
Once we'd started walking we all agreed perhaps this was better weather for walking in, no risk of getting sunburnt or just being TOO HOT.
We laughed and chatted as usual not bothered that we couldn't see much of a view. Besides we had to watch our feet, the seaweed was very slippery and we squealed when the rocks beneath our feet wobbled!
But looking down meant we spotted a few fossils along the way.
We avoided stepping in rock pools and clambered over rocks...
...and spotted these two that looked like they were kissing!
There are things I would like to change in my life but what's the point of listing them here when there is so much good stuff going on at the moment.
I now have a gorgeous new floor covering up the mish mash of floorboards and chipboard and concrete.
We have dug out the rot, patched up the holes and now you would never know what lies underneath.
diagonal floorboards...
fancy edging!
The floor was laid by the son of our old neighbour. They have a family carpet and flooring business so they have always been our first port of call when we needed a new carpet. Andrew would always ask for some "ex-neighbourly discount" with a big grin.
I remember this "young" lad, from when we first married, he was a just a teenager then.
He in turn remembers Andrew. Andrew took time to show him how to build an airfix kit and he fondly remembers the time they spent together.
Today youngest son took great delight in showing off his dad's train set and his own Lego creations.
It's wonderful to find out how much Andrew touched the lives of other people in unexpected ways.
We never truly know what know what kind of impression we make on other people, it's only when you look beneath the surface you can find out the whole story.
Or maybe my title today should be “…everybody needs a
daydream” or perhaps “…everybody needs a giggle.”
You see yesterday my kitchen progressed to the stage where I
needed a new man in my life – Granite Man – the man who came to take the vital
statistics and measurements for my new kitchen worktops. He was smooth, solid,
dependable and polished!
Oh yes he was rather good looking, tall, dark hair flecked
with just a hint of grey in much the same way that my new granite worktops will
be speckled with sparkle! He had a mysterious accent I just couldn’t quite place
geographically, deep brown eyes and a killer smile. And I noticed NO wedding
ring – oh how observant am I?
I offered him a drink. “Tea? Coffee?”
“Coffee please.”
“How do you take it? Milk? Sugar?”
“One milk, no I mean one sugar.”
He got tongue tied and slightly flustered and we giggled.
I’m not used to these kinds of encounters with the opposite sex.
When he left I enquired if he would be returning for the
final fitting. Alas the answer was no – shame I will probably never see him
again!
Never mind, it was still good to practice my flirting
skills, they are rusty verging on non-existent. I’ve never been much good at
talking to “boys”, especially good looking and available ones.
The other day I had an interesting conversation with
Andrew’s mum, who’s been widowed for many years now. She in hospital
at the moment and has been eying up the gorgeous male nurses. She confessed to me she was
hopeful one of them would take her for a shower – she isn’t stable enough to be
left alone. As she gets older she gets worse in more ways than one.
And so the subject turned to her news and gossip gleaned
from the luncheon club on the Tuesday before she was admitted.
She told me the tale of a woman in her seventies (one of the
helpers) who had just got herself a new gentleman friend.
“She’s widowed, not divorced so I said good for her, she
does right.”
(Rightly or wrongly my mother-in-law has a bit more
compassion for those who have lost their husbands rather than divorced them.)
Then she added “I told her I hope Sarah finds someone new.”
I could have cried at that, she’s said it before, it means I have her blessing to find someone new and fall in love again now
her son has died.
(Our relationship often remains me of the book of Ruth in the Bible.)
Part of me cries at the love and understanding she
shows me but I also cry because I just don’t see how it will happen.
Andrew and I had known each other for over a year before we
started dating, our friendship developed very gradually over time. There is no
one on the horizon as far as I can see so any out of the blue chance meetings are
an unexpected surprise.
However I need to stop my heart from racing and my daydreams
taking over when a strange man does show up at my door. I have a tendency to get
swept away.
Harmless flirting with Granite Man did me the world of good
and now of course I have a wonderful story to share with my mother-in-law on my next visit!
The
other day a friend tweeted this quote by CS Lewis...
“The
homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only
- and that is to support the ultimate career. ”
I’ve never heard the words “homemaker” and “career”
in the same sentence before but it
struck a chord with me as someone who has always enjoyed making the home
as comfortable and beautiful as I can for my family. I’m just an old fashioned
sort of girl really.
Andrew’s
well paid job allowed me the freedom to fulfil this role and I’m thankful I am
still in the position where I don’t have to look for employment outside my
domain.
However
for weeks now I have been somewhat out of sorts. I’ve been getting tetchy and
snappy, argumentative and teary. Even a trip to Wimbledon last week to see the
tennis didn’t completely dispel the blues.
The
problem is my home doesn’t quite feel like a home but more like a bombsite with
too many people coming and going. Nothing is quite as it should be.
I
also lost my cleaner a few weeks ago too, there are too many dusty corners I can’t
quite keep on top of.
(Being
a homemaker and being a cleaner are not necessarily the same I have decided!)
I’m
still living in a kitchen muddle, even the simple task of making a cheese sandwich
involves getting a knife and plate from the dining room, butter and cheese from
the fridge in the kitchen and… now where did I leave the bread bin? – its final
resting place seems to be on the kitchen table which is obviously in the hall!
(and
if I want a toasted sandwich I have to take it back to the kitchen and balance
the toastie maker on a tray across two cupboard carcasses!)
There
is an end in sight.
Today
I have been emptying boxes and putting things back into new cupboards.
I have discovered I now have a larger shelf for mugs - should I buy more???
I have draws with handles and cupboards with knobs on!
Tomorrow
someone is coming to make a template for my granite worktops and hopefully I’m
having the new floor laid on Thursday. Then it’s just the finishing touches… (haha - famous last words!)
Also
tomorrow I have a new cleaner starting – yippee!
But
best of all today I have had some peace and quiet in the house, no distraction, some time alone
and I actually did some writing and it felt sooooo good!
Oh
I love my career as a homemaker I truly do but I’m still pursuing my literary
dreams and a writing career would fit in quite nicely thank you very much!
I love my Monday mornings, once I’ve got the boys off to
school I can go and join my friends for a walk.
This morning we had planned a beach walk but at the last
minute we opted for a walk in the woods to see the rhododendrons. We are fortunate
to have so many wonderful places nearby to choose from.
The path climbed steadily and we eagerly shouted “rhododendron”
every time we spotted one like little kids. We laughed and chatted, our cares
and worries blown away.
To our right the woods climbed up higher but through the
trees to our left we could see a magnificent meadow dotted with bright waving
buttercups.
“I want to go down there.” Said one friend. “There is a path
look.”
“We could run down the hill just like the beginning of Little
House on the Prairie!” I squealed with excitement, I really shouldn’t be let
out sometimes!
So we looked for a way to get into the field, we climbed
over a stile, through a little bit of mud and eventually ended up going round in a circle back to the
top path where we had started from.
“We could go down here?” Suggested one friend as she scrambled through a gap in the trees. “We can get over the fence at the bottom.”
She shouted back to us.
So we followed, enjoying our adventure.
It was another NEW walk, we love finding a different route, even if we did have to clamber over a
padlocked gate I promise we stuck to signposted footpaths most of the time!
When I returned home my workman shouted “I wouldn’t come in
here if I were you,” – the dishwasher and sink had finally been removed.
But it gets worse- the floorboards underneath are rotten so
instead of installing a new dishwasher as soon as possible for my convenience
he has been digging out the wobbly joists. Sawing through floorboard, narrowly missing the gas pipe - thank goodness! No wonder my floor used to bounce
when I danced around the kitchen.
Oh dear...
...do you think we'll find buried treasure or a dead body under there?
...the mice have been nibbling the insulation round the central heating pipes!
...at least it's all tidy at the end of the day!
All I can do is laugh because it’s so much better than
crying. To be honest we both expected to uncover a few more issues before this
job is over. Nothing is ever simple or straight forward when your house is over a 150 years old.
We've survived the days of no Aga and no hot water, now we have to live without a kitchen sink - I guess I'll be doing the washing up in the bath then.
Even the simple task of making a cuppa becomes an adventure as I have to fill the kettle from the outside tap then walk round the
edges of the kitchen to reach the Aga and put it on to boil.
I can't wait to cook tea tonight - it's going to be so much fun - a bit like camping but without sleeping under canvas!
This morning I was running down a hill just like Laura
Ingalls, once more I’m living the life of a pioneer but nothing can be as bad
as those early days when I wrote this post on Unravelling Edges… (click on the title below to read)
At least the sun is shining bright and golden like the buttercups in the meadow and these days too will pass...
Pioneering Spirit: My last few posts have been more reflective. Looking back and remembering. Perhaps I’m learning at last how to “be” and not measure m...
