While working in the church shop on Tuesday one of my colleagues called me over to look at something.
She had been sorting out the greeting cards and wanted to show me the verse from Jeremiah 29 where God says
“I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you…”
I gave her a hug; these often quoted words were just what I needed to hear.
You see I have been watching the videos from the other contributors to the Archbishop’s Faith Stories book. I’d like to know who these people are before I meet them at the book launch on Friday. I’m interested in their stories and want to find some common ground to talk to them.
A lot of them are ordained ministers in the church and those that aren’t run projects working with the homeless or they go into prisons or they have set up a hospice! Really big important stuff.
I’m feeling very ordinary with my own little story, I feel like I don’t fit!
I’d love to turn my blog writing into a book. I’d like to think my words could reach out to people and touch them where they are, helping others who find themselves on a similar journey.
But at this moment in time it’s all a dream in my head.
Maybe in ten or twenty years’ time I’ll have done something to make me deserve a place in a book along with these other amazing people.
I told a friend how I was feeling and she sent me this text
“Be strong and know that God has got you this far.”
Yes somehow God is in the midst of all this doubt; He knows where I am going even if I don’t have a clue.
It reminded me of a scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade – any excuse to add a clip of Harrison Ford to my blog…
Indy has to take a leap of faith, he has to trust that something will break his fall and he won’t go tumbling into the chasm below.
Notice his heart is pounding, he is sweating, he consults his book, he pauses and re-evaluates the situation but eventually there is nothing left but to take that bold step.
I know exactly how he feels.
There is a wide crater before me full of immense possibilities. My imagination tries to fill it but all I am doing is throwing tiny pebbles into a deep well. I have no idea how I will get to the other side or what I will find when I get there.
My ideas don’t stand up but God’s imagination is so much more vast than mine and he says trust me, I will be with you, this is in my plans.
All I can do is hold on tight to the hand that created the universe and believe this leap of faith isn’t actually a leap too far!