A Guide to Dating for the Clueless
Derek believed his talents were wasted as a postman; he would have made an excellent detective.
Birthday cards, bills and bank statements all passed through his hands, clues to the lives lived behind the letterboxes.
Crystal at number 26 was a popular girl usually receiving lots of letters but her post box was distinctly empty on Valentine’s Day.
To investigate he followed her discretely to the bus stop watching her cry for a bit before approaching.
She declined the screwed up handkerchief he offered but smiled so politely he took a chance and asked her on a date.
He was sure he hadn’t accidently spat on her, it was a mild affliction he suffered with, although he remembered salivating when she accepted.
The local cinema was showing his favourite film, Psycho. When she said she’d never seen this classic he took this as a cue to educate her and waxed lyrically about the beautifully portrayed mother son relationship.
He couldn’t comprehend why she hid her face behind her manicured fingers for so much of the film. She completely missed all the best bits.
When the film finished he insisted on driving her home, a gentlemanly gesture saving her from catching the last bus home.
But she practically opened the car door before he even stopped and he was a little perplexed why she shunned his advances for a goodnight kiss.
He couldn’t quite figure out what had gone wrong with the evening.
There must be some clue he had overlooked.