After Wednesday’s rant about iTunes I decided to just give up with any notion of keeping the songs I’d already downloaded and instead START AGAIN from scratch! You’d think I would have learned by now that NOTHING lasts FOREVER!
However what I really wanted to write about today was my three wishes - new house, new relationship and writing career.
You see I’ve always thought perhaps these dreams are a trifle indulgent and maybe I was being greedy for wanting such things when I’ve already been so blessed. After all I have a roof over my head, I have two beautiful boys and Andrew has left us well provided for.
Then I read an article about a new phenomenon the Quarter Life Crisis, forget the Midlife Crisis twenty-something’s are facing their own meltdown when they leave university and find their “dream job” doesn’t exist, they have little hope of making it onto even the first rung of the housing ladder and as for finding that one special person to spend the rest of your life with…
I think I’m glad I’m in my forties and just a little bit more settled!
But it struck me that the desires for a good career, a house and a relationship are actually pretty universal.
Everyone wants an answer to these fundamental questions.
Where am I going to live?
What am I going to do with my life?
Who am I going to spend my life with?
Once upon a time I had these questions all figured out, I was a wife and mother, we’d been married for over 16 years and we lived in a fantastic family home. I’m not saying life was perfect but I had the basic questions answered.
When Andrew died it threw everything into turmoil and suddenly my answers were a bit more like multiple choice. For the next few years I still have the children to consider but long term I suddenly have completely different options open to me that were never around before.
As soon as all of these questions are up in the air, floating around unanswered is it any wonder we start to panic and get a little stressed?
Anyway the whole thing made me realise I’m pretty normal after all and somehow that’s taken the pressure off.
Also writing on Wednesday about BIG stuff verses small stuff helped get my thoughts in order – I’m still not sure if this make any sense to anyone else but I’m just throwing it out there and maybe it will resonate.
So my personal answer, for this week at least, is that I’m not going to worry about the BIG stuff.
As a Christian my life is not built on such shaky foundations as the answers to these questions. I have handed that all over to God and that works for me because his word says he has a plan for my life and I’ve learnt I can trust him, even if his timing never quite matches up with mine!
Somewhere out there is a man and a house with my name on – well that thought makes me giggle if nothing else and when you’re laughing everything always seems so much better.
As for the writing, I’m sure if I work hard enough, get my ideas straight and push a bit harder on a few doors I can make writing my “career”.
I doubt I’ll ever make much money from it, unless I change my name to Robert Galbraith perhaps, but that’s OK.
I survived the dilemmas of my twenties, I’ve been there clutching a degree certificate in my hand wondering what happens next. I’ve had countless sleepless nights wondering if I will ever get married, have children, be happy etc.
So does the Quarter Life Crisis exist?
Actually I think quite simply it’s just LIFE. Each decade that comes along brings its own worries. So those of you only in your twenties had better get used to it – hopefully you still have a long, long way to go!