Last week I went to a life writing workshop. It was run by Stephanie Butland who started her blog bah to cancer when she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2008 and has achieved the holy grail of turning her writing into a book!
She is an inspiration, encouraging all of us there to keep writing and giving us invaluable hint and tips.
One was to write fewer words than I usually do in my own blog but to write more often.
So this is my challenge.
With a change of style I decided to completely start afresh with a brand new blog. I had been toying with the idea anyway. Now I have survived the first year of widowhood I was considering a new direction for my blogging.
But what to call the new tome?
Some say the second year is harder than the first, when the reality of life on your own sinks in. It is also when people can forget your grief and move on to other people’s needs. After all it’s OVER a year ago – time to pull your socks up and get on with IT.
How about calling the new blog “The difficult second year…”? Maybe I’ll even add a question mark to the title and not just the question, leaving a hint of indecisiveness, unsure as to what the next twelve months will bring.
“I’ll still need my tissues then?” Said my friend today when I told her my plans.
Hmmmmm - I pondered!
I don’t want to write depressing stuff, I want this to be more positive. Would "the difficult second year..." turn out to be a self fulfilling prophesy?
"unravelling-edges" was all about coming undone and the blog was an attempt to mend my broken heart. Stitch up the raw edges and stop it fraying, patching the holes. A bit of a stop gap to keep from completely falling apart.
Do you remember Bagpuss? Remember the mice on the mouse organ.
“We will mend it, we will fix it” They used to squeakily sing, long before Bob the Builder got in on the act.
Well that was the state of my heart when Andrew died, ripped and torn. For a while it just kept unravelling and needed some serious repair. The "mice" (my friends and family etc.) have been at work and it’s being restored.
Instead on unravelling I’m in a state of being re-ravelled!
But this story is no where near finished, I am still "re-ravelling".
Who know's if re-ravelling is even a proper word?
Who knows where this year will take me but at least I have a title and that's a good start.