Saturday, 29 September 2012

Five Sentence Fiction - Devotion

Lillie McFerrin

Now this was far easier to write than a zombie story, although my twelve year old declined the challenge this week!

This is actually a follow-on from this weeks Visual Dare - Frustration - also known as - Jack and the Cow.

Thanks again to Lillie (and Angela) for challenging prompts that always stir the imagination.


Devotion

It was Jackson’s father who taught him right from wrong, his mother made sure he always remembered to say “please” and “thank you”, while Mrs Whitaker, his infant teacher, educated him in the mysteries of reading and writing.

However it was his grandfather who imparted the most valuable lessons; teaching him to open every wardrobe door in anticipation of reaching Narnia, to follow rainbows and dreams with a passion and most importantly to always have a bag of “magic” beans in your pocket.

Years ago he figured out that “magic” beans were made of jelly, although they tasted sweet he disliked the way they stuck in his teeth; he carried them anyway.

His grandfather had always lived a life dusted with make-believe but the lines between reality and fantasy were blurring rapidly like a camera lens being twisted out of focus.

Physically he was still fit and strong, Jackson enjoyed strolling beside him, never feeling too old to listen to his stories and share a bag of “magic” beans.

14 comments:

  1. A heart-tugging tale of devotion to someone very special. Children grow up to be accepting of change, unless they are taught to fear it or fight it. I loved your character's acceptance of the changes his grandfather was exhibiting, still spending time with him and sharing treasured rituals. A very good read!

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    1. Grandad's are very special people.
      Thanks for you lovely comments, just about to pop over to your blog and comment on your story too!

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  2. A grandfather worth his weight in gold, I'd say. Lovely story.

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    1. worth his weight in jelly beans - just as valuable as gold! Thanks for commenting.

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  3. What a great story.
    I loved the opening sentence where you so neatly identified the role important people in Jackson's life had on his upbringing. As a retired teacher the idea of, ...."his infant teacher, educated him in the mysteries of reading and writing." made me smile.
    My favourite was the image of Grandfather, "....teaching him to open every wardrobe door in anticipation of reaching Narnia, to follow rainbows and dreams with a passion and most importantly to always have a bag of “magic” beans in your pocket."
    What else do you need!
    Thanks for a great read. I'm off to check my magic beans are safely in my back pocket.

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    1. Opening sentences are so important, especially in such short stories, I enjoy the challenge of looking for an angle of where exactly to begin. Glad this one worked.
      I wanted to also write about how his parents viewed the aging grandfather as an ending to mirror the beginning but the limit on sentences wouldn't allow it.
      I do "plan" to work on this story further and turn it into a longer piece.

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  4. Beautiful Sarah, loved the second and fourth lines...I love blurring the lines between reality and fantasy, I mean, if I had to live in real life all the time, my dreams would get lost!

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    1. I've tried living in the real world and lost my dreams, so glad my own lines have blurred a bit more now!

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  5. My maternal grandfather was like this - he had all of us kids convinced he had been a cowboy; another time he got my mom's wig and fooled (?) my aunt that he was one of their new neighbors...

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    1. Glad my story brought back happy memories, thanks for the comment.

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  6. A lovely story, dear Sarah and I too loved the idea that although the Grandfather is changing, the grandson is accepting of the change and still spends time with him. Some really lovely moments here :))

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    1. Thanks Jo-Anne for your encouraging words, they mean a lot when they come from someone who's writing I admire.

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  7. This took me back to my childhood. Thank you for the time travel.

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  8. What a sweet story. The way you described the grandfather's slipping into dementia, "His grandfather had always lived a life dusted with make-believe but the lines between reality and fantasy were blurring rapidly like a camera lens being twisted out of focus" and the grandson's understanding and devotion by still listening to his stories was wonderful.

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