Well this weeks Visual Dare picture wasn't an easy one to get to grips with. Every idea I tried out ended up too complicated and far too long.
In the end I gave up trying to make the story shorter and went over my word count 200%! Although the story changed and developed as I went along and I enjoyed the process.
I hope the end result is worth it...
Scattered
Tess was frantically searching for her grandmother’s wedding
shoes. After all this fuss she hoped they fitted her when she found them.
The attic was dusty, it was already well past eleven and her
shoe had to be in the town square before the last stroke of midnight.
Behind the spinning wheel and the magic mirror of her
childhood she finally found her grandmother’s trunk. The lid opened with a
creaking yawn.
Carefully Tess lifted out the ivory silk dress, underneath on
a bed of confetti was a pair of glass slippers; they glittered in the silver moonlight
that fell through the attic window almost magically on cue.
She tugged off her trainers without even undoing the laces
but it was already apparent that her feet were far too big to squeeze into the
dainty slippers.
What prince would marry a girl whose feet didn’t fit her own
shoes? It was far too late now to run down stairs and get to the square in time
anyway.
The clock started to chime setting off a spark of an idea.
Picking up a trainer Tess ran to the window and opened it
wide. Her aim was straight and true, the trainer landed alongside the thousands
of other shoes that had been accumulating all day in the square.
All waiting to be picked up by a prince.
As the clock struck its final note Tess looked down at the
glass slippers. She thoughtfully placed them back in the trunk with the dress
on top. They would never have survived being thrown out of the window. In the
same way she wouldn’t survive being a pampered princess with expectations of
elegance.
Her handsome prince would be fit, active, love sport and the
wild outdoors.
She knew one day he would find her shoe.
Now THAT is a great twist to an old fairy tale!!! Love, love, love.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, it's over by 200% but --- but the 100 word goal coached you into making this a watertight little anecdote...and that's what we want, right? So it's still a win. :)
Thanks for the great prompt the idea took lots of twists and turns on the way to the finished piece. I'm glad I played around with it so much I am pleased with how it eventually turned out.
DeletePerfect! Ah, I love a heroine who isn't a princess! Really enjoyed this (and am secretly glad that you went over the limit).
ReplyDeleteGlad I went over the limit too. As for a heroine who isn't a princess I always like to think I am one so it was an interesting idea to play around with.
DeleteJust read this to my daughters...who now want to throw their shoes into the ring to find the perfect match! But so lovely to realise that you don't want what everyone else wants...you want the man who'll match you!
ReplyDeleteOne of my favourites for this prompt by far!
Love the fact you read this to your daughters - I only have boys who are not interested in princess stories!
DeleteThanks for the repost on FB too!
Haha great twist, love the idea of throwing your shoe out the window to find a prince, and the visual ;)
ReplyDeleteIf I threw a shoe out of the window it would probably hit the prince on the head - hmmmm - that could be another story!
DeleteAgree with everyone, this is really good and so what if it's not 100words, it's still a great compact complete story. I just love it when fairy tales are re vamped :)
ReplyDelete300 words exactly - I tried to keep to some kind of limit - I have one of those sorts of brains!
DeleteThis is truly excellent. I love a good twist on a fairy tale and this one rocks!!!
ReplyDeleteLoving all these fab comments from everyone - thanks xx
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