When I saw Lillie's prompt this week my heart sank, I am a fairytales kind of girl, I don't do HORROR stories, either reading or writing!
So when youngest son complained he was bored I decided to give him the challenge of writing a "zombie" tale instead.
I tweaked a few things with him when he had finished, mostly the beginnings of each sentence; originally 4 out of 5 started with the word "they". Otherwise it is all his own work.
He is twelve, an avid reader of fantasy, with a particular liking for books in a series but not first person narrative! At the moment he is waiting for the library to get him a copy of Inheritance by Christopher Paolini and he won't read anything else but the Lego catalogue while he waits!
This morning I printed off the story for him to take to school and show both his English teacher and form teacher.
"What about showing the librarian too?" was my suggestion. I know she writes and would be interested.
He beamed proudly as he clutched his story and happily went off to school.
Zombies
Bob and Fred
walked through the broken door of the crooked haunted house.
They looked
around it was dark and creepy inside, something was wrong but they couldn’t
think what it was.
As the
detectives climbed up the stairs the timbers creaked under their weight.
A shadowy
figure lurched towards them and in one swift blow they were both dead.
The zombie
looked down at his work, smiled to himself and lumbered back into the gloom,
waiting patiently for his next victims.
 |
| Inspiration for the story... |
What
it’s all about: Five
Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week I
will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write
a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear
in your five sentences, just use it for direction.
Looks like you have competition Sarah! Watch out there's a Zombie about! Well done Ben...super scary :-) x
ReplyDeleteThat's really cool! I've had my kids doing FSF with me too, it really helped my son with English as it's not his strong subject. Youngest daughter loves it too because she loves writing and is desperate to have a blog of her own to put her stories in!
ReplyDeleteTell your son he did a great job with this one!
Great job by your son, all the elements are there, love the simplicity of the deaths, sometimes as adults we make things way more complicated (or at least I do) so this was a great reminder.
ReplyDeleteVery nice - your son did really well with this.
ReplyDeleteI love the fact that the zombie in the story seems really happy with his lot as a member of the undead, smiling to himself and lumbering back into the gloom. I find that really sweet.
ReplyDeleteGreat job! A fledgling writer! Awesome!
ReplyDeleteMcGuffy's Reader
http://www,mcguffysreader.blogspot.com
Aw... Good for your son! He did a great job establishing the scary atmosphere, which is no small feat. And good for you, too, proud mama.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the fantastic comments for the zombie story.
ReplyDeleteI love how you shared your passion for writing with your son. He did a great job with the prompt.
ReplyDeleteThat was great.
ReplyDeleteThat's one powerful zombie. But -- isn't he hungry?
ReplyDeleteJzB
A wonderful idea for kids to be involved in. They could learn so much from the exercise, and this posting proves it.
ReplyDeleteOh, a wonderful idea to involve your son!!! Zombies was a scary word for me, too :)
ReplyDeleteThis is a really well written story; I especially love the vivid imagery in the last sentence!
Thanks Lillie, just finished my latest #fsf and it's ready to post. Devotion was a much easier word to work with. Although my son turned his nose up and refused to play! Couldn't tempt him with Angela Goff's cow picture either, he said that was just weird! hehehe
DeleteYes, devotion is much more my kind of word :)
DeleteOh, but cows are so cool...Angela always has the best pictures. Perhaps, it just didn't inspire him properly, lol. An artist must be inspired, you know ;)