Saturday, 26 January 2013

Five Sentence Fiction - Ringing

Bit of a sad story this week for Lillie's Five Sentence Fiction but these were the thoughts that popped into my head...

“You can’t fight back son, walk away and find a teacher.”

The stern tone of his mother’s voice was still ringing in his ears when Billy pushed him over in the playground the next day.

Marty didn’t throw a punch back; instead he quietly got up and looked around for a teacher, someone, any grown up to tell.

Finding none he walked purposefully to the bell and stretched up his hand.

When he realised he was never going to reach the tears started to fall.

 If I wrote a sixth sentence I'd send someone to rescue Marty.

Who do you think I should send?


  1. A teacher - so he feels fully supported, and brings back his faith in authority, and it gets dealt with properly. Nice Piece.

  2. Yes, if the school system would stand behind him to prevent further bullying it would be great, but doesn't always happen. I'm thinking that a mother who teaches her son that he doesn't have the right to stand up for himself if being bullied is heading him toward future disaster in life. Self protection is essential in our hardcore world. I'm not advocating violence or aggression, just saying we need to teach our kids to stand up against wrong. This was a good, thought-provoking story... well written!

  3. This is a very important post, on many levels. Well done! New follower; hope you will join me, too.

  4. Hope the character you portray never gives up trying to find his way. I know from experience, there are ways that seem appropriate at the time, but are painfully wrong. Thank you for writing this.

  5. This is so sad; bullying sucks and we tell kids all the time not to retaliate and find help. How bitter for him that help was nowhere and that bell out of reach. Shame this topic is such big news right now and you've portrayed it extremely well. x

  6. thanks to everyone for taking the time to comment on this one - I appreciate it :-)